Hand Me Down Heaven

Take Me with You

2012-01-26T09:36:00.009-06:00

On this memorial of Sts. Timothy and Titus I am struck by the words from the Magnificat that tie together a very important message for us all. Who are we hanging around and can we ride their coat tails to the pearly gates or they ours? Look around and see who's in your crowd. "St. Paul was so powerful and attractive a personality that he was able to draw such different types of men as Luke, Timothy and Titus, and to make them his collaborators." Hang on to Paul because he'd be glad to drag you along, but there is much work to be done walking with him as he works for Christ.
In the meditation from St. Teresa of Avila - "For God does not deny himself to anyone who perseveres. If beginners with the assistance of God struggle to reach the summit of perfection, I believe they will never go to heaven alone; they will always lead many people along after them. Like good captains they will give whoever marches in their company to God." Worth the struggle! All I could think was, SOMEONE take me with you. As I sat reading this in Mass, one of the deacons sat down next to me and said, "Good morning." Okay, good company. Then, a young mom who's oldest daughter will be going with my daughter to the same high school next year patted my shoulder and said, "Morning Julie." Ahhhh, more good company. And, a co-worker walked down and sat a few pews ahead of me as well as several others I see around the church quite often. I will have to hang around there more often because surely someone here will "lead me along after them."
My thought is that as parents, as co-workers, as people bound by a common community, we impact one another. It's as simple as that. We make a positive or a negative impact on one another by our words or our actions or our lack of either or both. I believe the challenge for us today is the same it was for Titus and Timothy and is what St. Teresa is talking about and that is, either be the person who brings others to Christ or hang around one who's going to bring you to Him. Because, as we all know, this world is passing and if we don't associate ourselves with the right people or work hard to change the one's we're around, when the sickle wields or when the good captain calls the troops, we may not land in the place we favor. Something to seriously think about. Am I leading others to Christ and if I'm not, am I hanging around someone who will lead me?

Plain Ol' Fun

2012-01-23T06:08:00.004-06:00

This past weekend I took three eighth graders and two fourth graders to see Beauty and the Beast 3D. Lemme just say that I cannot wait for the new Dr. Seuss Movie in 3D. But, this was pure and simple fun for me. The type of fun I used to have when my family and the O'Rourke family all crammed into our station wagon and my mom paid for a carload at the drive-in (which by the way was in our neighborhood...those were the days). Because of the expense of going to the movies, I rarely go but when I do I remember just how much I love the big screen. Of course, it never hurts to sit next to two fourth graders who reach out to try to touch objects coming off the screen and who ooooo and aaaaahhhh over everything. Sitting there, I remembered how many tons of times my mom took us to the drive-in and the Belcourt and the Belle Meade Theatres. It was plain ol' fun back then and it's still plain ol' fun.
Beauty and the Beast is all about seeing others for who they really are and not how they look or how they act. I love sharing that with these girls. Both ages need to hear that right now and both ages "get it". Wouldn't hurt to have a few more Belles in this world. Wouldn't hurt to have the adventures of the castle. And, it just never hurts to have a weekend of plain ol' fun. We had that all my life when I was growing up and I need to remember to pass that on to my kids and their friends. Simple lessons and good fun.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

2012-01-18T21:16:00.006-06:00

I was going to write today about how difficult it is to pray or to read or to write when you're sick. Then, I read another blog from a writer I absolutely love who was giving excuses for why she may not be called to be a writer. I suddenly realized that I often think of all sorts of excuses not to sit and write. Writing is not easy, especially for someone like me who has no "formal training". I read a lot, I pray a lot, I try to listen and I practice, practice, practice and still, I seem to think of every excuse not to sit and work on what I believe I should be working on. Writing can be scary. Rejection can occur. Criticism does occur. You work and work and work and oftentimes your personal life lay wide open for all to see. It can be frightening. But, if you love something, just do it. So, I'm thinking that it's time for me to stop thinking up excuses and sit and write. No fear.
Handed down from my parents as well as my grandparents is a whole lot of "don't give me any excuses" and "I don't want to hear it". So. Let's go. Get on with it. Write. Not whether I believe I'm called or not, not when I can find the time and not when I start feeling better...Now.
And, for those who are not writers but maybe are painters or who have some projects lurking and have found more time for excuses than the work itself, stop...go to it... get on with it. No excuses. No excuses. No excuses.

Gifts From Above

2012-01-05T14:07:00.008-06:00

Christmas can be a magical time; a time for family and friends sharing the birth of Christ with gifts to one another. December 25th also happens to be my father's birthday. This year my brother and sister-in-law invited the entire family over Christmas night for soup and salad and birthday cake. All the children and grandchildren made a card and put them in a large bowl for him to read later. The night was quite the success. As people finished eating, my brother gathered us all and handed each of the eight children an envelope and called upon his wife to tell a little about the contents. Seems my brother had found some unclaimed money that belonged to my grandmother and his wife went to great pains to retrieve the cash and split it between her grandchildren. Many times she went back to the claims office with larger sizes of licenses and other identification. You'd think the people really did not want the money to be claimed. Imagine that! But, my sister-in-law was persistent because she knew, and she's right, that my grandmother and grandfather worked hard for every penny and she would want to have what she deserved. So, my sister-in-law, on her crutches from knee surgery, went back again and again until she got what my grandmother left behind. Each card had three bills and the note that you see above. I was touched by my brother and sister-in-law's hard work and by their persistence and by the sharing of the story and the remembering of the life. My grandmother loved to spend Christmas with us. The cake she always had for my father said, "Happy Birthday Jesus and Bill!" She was incredibly giving and I loved that she was a part of my dad's big birthday and our Christmas. Gift after gift. Memory after memory. An awesome gift from above!

Since It's Been a Week...I Feel I Can Talk

2012-01-03T10:22:00.015-06:00

Welcome all to the New Year! I've been a little under the weather recovering from surgery. Seems I am special. And fortunate! Christmas night, I didn't feel so well. My husband had a stomach virus the previous two days so I figured that I had the same thing. Then, on the 26th, I felt worse. Just piercing pains in my lower abdomen but still, I was sick. No fever. Nothing else. Just pain. My daughters suggested the hospital, suggested the possibility of appendicitis, but I knew that was not possible. By 8:00 p.m., I begged my husband to take me to the emergency room and the next morning my appendix was removed. My poor, perforated, toxic appendix was taken from me. What makes me so special? Fortunate? The darn thing had loped up over my colon and the perforated side with all the toxins wanting to escape into my body and make me reallllly sick were pressed tightly against my colon. Doc said he'd never seen such luck. Doc said he had to work long and hard after realizing what had happened but that he could handle it all arthroscopically because the infection had been contained. Thank You God!
Here's my point to telling you this story other than allowing you to feel a little sorry for me. Hahaha. My husband has told me story after story shared with him every time he mentioned the reason for my absence. Oh my goodness. Crazy, awful stories. I truly am fortunate. And, I'm also fortunate in my faith community. I had people show up each day to bring me Communion and I received the Sacrament of the Sick. A priest happened by the bookstore, asked about me and came right over. I am truly blessed and I am grateful. I believe. I believe that evil can lurk in the oddest places and can show it's ugly head in the weirdest ways and at the worst times. I believe that we can bring one another strength through our visits and through our prayers. I believe that God means for us to take care of one another, to allow for help, to overcome all that is tough in this world and to live in community. I believe.

C.a.m.e.l - Not Just For The Kings

2011-12-20T06:40:00.020-06:00

I've never really thought much about camels before yesterday. Now, I can't quite get them out of my mind. A couple, who I met last year, came into the bookstore yesterday to add pieces to a nativity set and shared with me a family tradition. They have a very large camel (about knee high or more) who stands with a leg relaxed back, head cocked and a large smile upon his face despite the huge burden upon his back. They shared that their family members each give a symposium on a subject around the camel and the best work, wins the camel. The acronym they shared for c.a.m.e.l is Calling All Members to Enjoy Life. As I wrapped their gift, I could not get the image of the smiling camel bearing the huge burden out of my mind. They shared that subjects have been chosen such as marriage and family and work, etc. as in despite any of the huge burdens that may surround our relationships, our lives, our journeys, do we somehow smile and find a way to enjoy life? I will never look at another camel in quite the same way. I can envision the camels (skinny legs and knobby knees) wearing that smile while carrying the Kings with their gifts in all their heavy clothing. And all I could ask myself is How Do I Bear Life's Burdens? Are they truly burdens? Do I smile when I am tired or when I am stressed or when I have what I feel is the weight of the world on me or do I allow others to feel sorry for me? Or worse, do I want them to know I bear the weight so they will be concerned about me? Today, I am Calling All Members to Enjoy Life! Bear burdens with a smile. Take on the weight of your difficulties with grace and humility. People in this world need strong examples of perseverance. Take the challenge. Enjoy life. Everyone wants to be king. Let's get over ourselves. Be the Camel.
Thank you Dr. and Mrs. Donahue www.messengersindenim.org

You'd think...

2011-12-15T12:09:00.005-06:00

You would think that a person working in a Christian Book and Gift Shop during December would have something to blog about everyday. You'd think she would be dying to share all those awesome stories that she hears from customers and from employees and from family. You'd think she would take the time to tell about the visit from Emanuele Fontanini and the request for the city to remove the port-a-john from the parking lot for the day, the visit from St. Nicholas, and I mean St. Nicholas, and the stories told about his life and the families who's lives he has touched, the trip to Memphis to set up a Christmas shop for the students at St. Benedict and St. Francis and the response and remarks of grateful kids and teachers and the constant oooos and ahhhs as customers enter our West End store and spend time and enjoy the season. You'd think that being in the midst of the reason for the season day in and day out would bring about some sort of daily writing but instead it has all made me busy. And I mean a good kind of busy. I am busy doing all the things I need to be doing and I am enjoying it all. I want to write and sit and write some more but I need to keep moving. As I sat with my kids and watched the movie Finding Nemo last night, and I needed to sit and watch that with my family, I was reminded by Dori to, "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming." You see this year although you'd think that I have so much to share and to tell, I think that I have discovered that there is a right time for everything and I have to go with my gut and I believe that my gut is telling me to enjoy what needs to be done. Roll around in it, take time with it, breathe it all in and write about it later. Things may be different tomorrow but for today, just when you'd think I have so much to tell, I am silenced by the season.

Lessons From Work

2011-12-01T05:32:00.007-06:00

Whether we work inside the house or outside the house or both, our work can teach us many things about life. Our work can teach us virtue in action. Love in action. Christ in action. Our work can teach us about responsibility and relationship, about allowing others to help, about family, about patience, about humility, about listening with the heart, about the importance of the aged, about youth, about the homeless, about passing on gifts, about using gifts, about being gifted.
I am very fortunate in my particular work that I have these opportunities right smack in front of my face. Working in a Catholic bookstore with my family gives me plenty of possibilities for success and for failure. Faith is all around me. We talk about Christ, we share Christ and we often miss meeting Christ face to face because we get wrapped up in ourselves.
Let me start this morning with the lesson of allowing others to do their job. If you are like me, you know that in your workplace you have the capability to do everything. You can do it all. You can work the business, do the bookkeeping, open, close, answer the phone and run errands. You can do anything necessary. But, I believe that we are here on this earth, in this place, in this house or this business to work together. Don't we think that when Jesus became man and went out to preach and to teach that He could have done it all? But, He didn't. He called others to come and to work along side Him so that when His time here was over, His work would continue. It is important, not just for that reason, but also because when we allow others to do the job they believe they were called to do. They too are allowed to have some success in the journey. Our children putting their laundry away, doing their dishes and finishing their chores not only teaches them that they have responsibilities but also gives them self worth. Our co-workers finishing projects and helping customers and serving the needs of other co-workers allows them to have that same sense of self worth. People need to be needed. People need to do their jobs. People need to work together to build what we hope to someday be a better world. Today, we have to let others do what they do. We need to allow others the satisfaction of accomplishing the work for which they have been called. God knows we can do it all but He wants us to work together and to love one another.

St. Andrew Novena Starts Tomorrow!!!

2011-11-29T20:46:00.002-06:00

Tomorrow is the Feast Day of St. Andrew. This powerful Novena has made incredible difference in my life.

Hail and blessed be the hour and moment in which the Son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour, vouchsafe, O my God! to hear my prayer and grant my desires, through the merits of Our Savior Jesus Christ, and of His Blessed Mother. Amen.

(It is piously believed that whoever recites the above prayer fifteen times a day from the feast of St. Andrew (30th November) until Christmas will obtain what is asked.)

Passed Down

2011-11-24T07:16:00.002-06:00

I believe that in every kitchen this morning celebrating Thanksgiving Day, there is at least one recipe being used that has been passed down from a previous generation. I know that my nephews and niece in Atlanta who cannot make it to our dinner have called for my mother's dressing recipe as well as my brother Pat and his family in North Carolina. I think it rather cool that we will be sharing the same meal so to speak despite the fact we cannot be at the same table. I personally am assigned my grandmother's corn pudding each year. I think about her so many times during the year when certain incidences occur that I know she would have a comment for or a tidbit of wisdom to offer but while putting together her recipe, I think about our times together every step of the way. Well, unless I'm sidetracked by a child or a time crunch. But, the point here is that I hope all of us who use recipes on this wonderful day or celebrate a certain family tradition, pause and enjoy a memory or two from the person or persons from which it was passed down. From the First Thanksgiving to the one we celebrate today, may we be grateful for and may we share a little of all that has been given. God Bless us all. Happy Thanksgiving!

Mission Field

2011-11-17T12:14:00.009-06:00

This past week, after having tables at the Mid-South Leadership Conference in Lake Barkley, KY the first part of the week, St. Mary's set up a booth at Christmas Village at the Fairgrounds in Nashville. A large event with vendors covering five buildings worked by members of Pi Phi to benefit the Bill Wilkerson Center, we open on Thursday night and do not break down until Sunday at 6pm. I have to admit that it is a big job but I was lucky enough not to have to work out there every day because my sister does that duty for the store. However, the show is always great and we see all sorts of customers that we never get to see otherwise and we feel that our particular merchandise speaks of the True Spirit of Christmas. As a matter of fact, we have many people come by the booth and share just that thought. They love the beautiful Nativities and angels and books and ornaments.
Every year we are next to the same family and every year the father of the group starts in on me as soon as he sees me coming. He ribs me from the first day to the last and of course, I give it right back. Imagine that! His daughter leaned over to me this year and said, "Just consider this a mission field." Of course, with that, I started thinking about how I should consider every aspect of my life a "mission field" from my home to the streets I drive to my work to my church and my school and my community. What mission does He have in mind for me? Am I just to make people laugh or to listen to their story or simply to walk with them? Is my mission truly what I have in front of me or is it a much larger field?
The readings at Mass this past week were about taking what we are given and multiplying it, putting it to use, making a difference. The parables make the point that anyone can take what they are given and keep it for themselves in a safe place and return it at a later time. But, how many of us really maximize the gifts, accept the challenges or even know what it is we are called to do? Really called to do? How many times have I played it safe and missed opportunities?
This past week in the church and in the field, I was reminded that I need to take the time to first of all figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing in every aspect of my life and then to use that to multiply the gifts that I have been given. I know I've been doing a lot of time consuming coasting. Busy work. Time for me to step out of my comfort zone, to get out into those fields and multiply the goodness of God.

Hardheaded, I'm Guessing

2011-11-07T22:54:00.009-06:00

I am at Lake Barkley in Cadiz, KY at the Mid-South Leadership Conference. I have been coming and setting up tables with books and gifts to represent St. Mary's Bookstore for many years. Many years. This morning we all attended morning Mass in the Conference Center. As the lector was reading the first reading, a woodpecker began pecking on the outside wall. A loud knocking continued and all I could imagine was God rapping His knuckles on my head and saying, "Hey, hard head, are you listening? I'm speaking here. What do I have to do to get your attention?" Surely He wouldn't have to keep at it until he bored a hole in me but I was sure that woodpecker was coming through the wall. Now I'm thinking why in the world do I have to be so hard headed? Repent. Forgive. Say I'm sorry. Don't talk about others. Be on guard. And last but not least... Increase in Faith.

When I Was a Little Girl

2011-11-03T10:28:00.018-05:00

I have to start this way because all of my kids tease my husband when he starts his long drawled out, "Well, when I was a boy..." And, a story begins.
When I was a little girl, my mom would stop for Chapel visits quite often. Or, at least it seemed. She would tote all 8 or 6 of us kids right down the aisle of the Church and into the pew for "just a minute". As a matter of fact we had a little poem taped to the bathroom mirror that had on the front a picture of a young boy at the end of a path with the Church at the other end and was titled, "Just for a Minute". It wouldn't matter if there were groceries in the car or if she had to get dinner on the stove or we were coming home late from a practice, if the feeling hit her, we stopped. I think that most of the time I knelt and wondered what everyone else was saying to God. What could they be telling Him or asking Him? I was always squirmy sitting in the quiet.
Now, I long for those times, sitting in quiet and listening for a word or a direction or an approval. Last night I took my 9 year old to the gym for a little while to work with her on her basketball skills. After speaking with my brother many months ago about our children I decided to take his advice, although he called me for that, and use working with my kids on their extra-curricular activities as a chance to spend quality time with them one on one. Anyway, it was fun and somewhat productive and I feel we regained some of her confidence after her miserable first practice. (She was inadvertently made fun of and wanted to "never go back".) As we drove home, approaching the church I asked if she'd like to make a visit in the Chapel. "Sure." As I parked, she said, "You know, all we need in this life is religion." I asked her to repeat what she said so that I could be sure I heard correctly and then I totally agreed and inserted "God". I swiped my key card which she thought was cool and we blessed and entered. (I thought, "those were the days" when churches could be left unlocked). The choir was practicing in the church and as we knelt down I realized how peaceful it was with her in that moment. After a few minutes, she leaned over and whispered, "Do you want to go sit up there?" Meaning, up in the chairs at the tabernacle. "No. I'm fine unless you want to move." "No, but in first grade Mrs. B let us sit up there and told us not to touch the tabernacle. I did and I can't remember who it was but some boy told on me. Mrs. B wasn't mad." Wow. I didn't even have to wonder what she was thinking. She just lets everything spill right out. I told her to go ahead and finish up with her prayers because we would have to leave. It was past her bedtime. That little head pressed down hard against the armrest and she closed her eyes. How much closer could we possibly get to Him then at this moment, in this place? I thank God for my parents handing down the example of stopping by the Chapel even "just for a minute". I thank God for giving us a large family who we can rely on for good advice because when I was a little girl, I wondered just what it was all about and how it would benefit me in the long run. And I thank God for this little girl, not squirmy at all, who knows that all we need for this life is our faith.

Guess I Need To Get Used To It

2011-10-31T21:54:00.007-05:00

Here are my oldest girls who found the need to try on some of Target's Halloween costumes and "Yes" I cracked up that they would climb into these outfits right in the aisle in the middle of Target. Many years have passed since I actually made the girls' costumes, whether a simple black cat or Peter Pan or an angel. Nowadays I just let them pick out something from one of the stores. I did paint a vest onto a shirt for my youngest this year and cut up some fishnet hose for her use on her arms as well as her legs. But, and here's the kicker, for the first time in 20 years, I did not take a child out for trick-or-treat. All three went with friends and the youngest spent the night out or I would have been with her. Ugh! I guess this is something I will need to get used to. My kids are growing up and do not quite need me for everything and I take that as a compliment. The oldest two can act crazy without me and the youngest ones can go out with their friends. They make their own lunches and almost handle their own homework and the oldest two run their owns lives. Mostly, they're comfortable being themselves and although it will be difficult for me as they each venture out and no longer need me, I'm good. Whether as hot dogs or odd birds or just themselves, I'm good.

Our Final Pumpkin Globe

2011-10-27T10:52:00.006-05:00

Our journey began 13 years ago when our oldest daughter was in 4th grade and was assigned to turn a standard 38" diameter pumpkin into a globe, labeling the continents and the oceans, the prime meridian and the equator, the north and south pole, and of course, Nashville, TN. We learned with the first one how important it was to take the tape measure with us and get as close to 38" and as round as possible. That year two pumpkins were purchased. We also learned the importance of not doing the project too early. In this case, the early bird would have a bad case of mold before the project returned home. But, it has to be done early enough for all the paint to dry well. The first half of the family had to purchase real pumpkins but now the children are allowed to use plastic. Not us! In this family it's all about tradition. Julia must have asked me six times as we worked together was this what I did for the other kids. "We can use a plastic pumpkin." "What did the others do?" "I can trace the continents while you paint." "Did you do that for everyone?" "Do you want to type out the labels?" "Did everyone else type them out?" And so on. So as our 6th and final pumpkin globe project went, it was purely done as it had been done in the past with a few lessons learned by the project manager.
All in all, it's fun to work with the kids on some of their projects and it's very rewarding seeing parents learn to let go of perfection with each child that comes along. That first and second and third globe, I wiped around the edges of continents making sure the kids stayed inside the lines. I balanced continents and oceans and made perfect lines for the equator and prime meridian. But as time passed, I realized that the pumpkin globe was not about the paint or the lines. The pumpkin globe not only taught Julia about our continent, even our own city and state, in relation to other continents, but it taught her a little something about our family and the importance of traditions and the importance of learning from previous mistakes and the importance of change and of difference. She obviously looks up to her brothers and her sisters and wants to be like them in many ways. I like that. I like that she gets it. I like that she knows she has choices but may still want to do what was done before. I like that she understands a little about family traditions. I like working with her. And, I have to admit, I like that this was our final pumpkin globe.

One Last Act

2011-10-20T10:01:00.012-05:00

I don't remember exactly how the story goes but I'll try to get as close as possible to the truth.
Several weeks ago I went to the funeral home for the visitation of a woman I have known since I was in grade school. Her daughter took the time to tell my friend Betsy and I about the beautiful powder blue knit dress she was wearing.
While her mom was in the hospital, a box had been delivered to her house and one of the children simply put it inside for her. "She loved to shop" and having a box outside the door seemed to be a norm. "I told dad not to take anymore magazines to the hospital." We laughed. Not too many days passed and her mom died and the children met at the house to plan for her funeral. Across the bed in the back bedroom lay the powder blue dress with the silver belt that their mom had ordered for herself. "Definitely not something we may have picked and yet absolutely perfect." We both agreed. To me, this was the one last caring act for these children as their mom. Who knows if this woman ordered this dress for her funeral? Who knows if this woman thought that it would be better for her to take care of the details so her children would not have to struggle over agreeing what would be best or what she might prefer? Who knows if this mom was sparing her children time and energy that they could be spending with one another in stories and memories and friendship? I felt at that moment as the story was told that all these questions could probably be answered positively. One simple act. One lasting memory.
The daughter went on to tell us that when she would visit her mom in Florida, she loved to wear her mom's accessories. There were plenty of choices and many pair of black or gray pearl earrings that she particularly loved. She realized how perfect a pair of those earrings would be for her now but could not find any at her home here in Nashville so she gave up her own pair. She told us how happy she was that her mom would be buried with a little piece of her. One simple act. One lasting memory.

St. Augustine said

2011-10-14T16:06:00.003-05:00

Our homily today was on this brilliant statement by St. Augustine:

"Trust the past to God's mercy, the present to God's love and the future to God's providence."

Now if I could just live as if all the junk from the past has been forgiven and God is in control of all that is to come, so for today all I have to do is live in His Infinite Love and in return pass that on to others. Wow, our God is good.

In Memory of Sr. Diane

2011-10-11T05:33:00.013-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I attended the funeral of my 8th grade teacher, Sr. Mary Diane, O.P. As everything out at the St. Cecilia Motherhouse, it was beautiful. I had the pleasure of being taught by this sister at St. Henry School, the same school my children now attend, 37 or so years ago and reuniting with her through St. Mary's Bookstore and becoming good friends over the past 20 years.
I met Lisa at the front of the convent and we went toward the Chapel. In the foyer before entering the Chapel, the sisters and Sr. Diane's family were all gathered around her open casket talking and celebrating her life. As Fr. approached, Mother Ann Marie pulled Sr. Diane's scapular up over her face. The sister standing next to me explained that upon first vows they lay prostrate with the veil over their face symbolizing the beginning of their vows and at their death the same action is repeated to symbolize the end of their vows. All of the sisters then processed through to the Chapel, almost in order of oldest to youngest, and we followed. Sitting in the back throughout the funeral allowed me to drink in not only the beauty of the Chapel but also the feeling of complete peace and joy. Fr.'s homily was somewhat lighthearted as was Sr. Diane. He said as he was called to give Sr. Diane Viaticum in her last week of life, he informed her that she was on the last of her road and she informed him that he was not too far from the last of the road himself. She was just that way and that is one reason we were good friends. At the end of the service in the chapel, Fr. read the farewell prayer and suddenly the entire chapel filled with light from the sun and I mean an overpowering bright light. I looked over at Lisa as she spun her head to me and her eyes were wide and a smile came across both our faces. Whata moment!
At the cemetery right their at the Motherhouse, one of the sisters asked if I had any Sr. Diane stories and I just laughed and said probably nothing I could repeat but truly I have many stories and they are all filled with times of laughter and happiness. She had a good time and I had a good time with her. In 8th grade, I was always in trouble and she made us copy dictionary words as we sat in from recess or were denied time on the back hill just basking in the sun with the others from our class. She loved taking us outside on that hill. We got caught lifting her desk onto the back cabinets on April Fool's day and mimicking her with her pointer at the blackboard and the only time she really got angry was when we turned her Blessed Mother statue backwards. She could take fun and games but not disrespect and I held that lesson close all these years. She was tough on me. Cranky and quick with sarcasm. She called the store occasionally and asked, "When ya comin to visit me? What's going on with you right now? How's your poor husband?" Finally, a couple of weeks ago, when I got a call from the infirmary about a crucifix they needed, I asked, "How's Sr. Diane?" "Not good." "I should come see her." "Better make it quick." Thank our good God I went the next day. She was in a bed but talkative and sassy just the way I loved her. We talked about the old days and about the store and my kids and of course, my poor husband. She struggled with her breathing but seemed to enjoy our last time together.
Sr. Diane was always teaching me, always challenging me, always pushing me whether with sharp comments or cold, blank stares. She wanted me to give and to get something more and we understood one another. She was bold and brass and didn't hold back on what she thought. She taught me off and on for 37 years in and out of the classroom and I couldn't be more grateful for the times we were together. She made me laugh and I will truly miss her.
May her soul rest in peace.

On the Journey

2011-10-09T17:02:00.050-05:00

One week ago today I was setting up a store inside a small house at the base of the hill that led to Living Waters Retreat Center and then farther up to St. Margaret Catholic Church. After 5 hours of unloading books and putting together clothing racks and hanging chasubles and albs and displaying chalices and mass kits and pictures and crucifixes, I was exhausted but my "store" looked wonderful. The next morning I woke early enough to go back to the store and fine tune a few things and then hike up to Mass. As I huffed and puffed up the hill to church, I had to stop half way to catch my breathe. The hill was steeper than I expected and the need to stop and look out at the incredible view of the surrounding mountains was quite the reward. The leaves were turning and the mountains were developing their patch-work quilt covering. The crisp morning air actually made my throat hurt as I gasped. "I'm fat and out of shape" I thought with each possible last deep breathe. No breakfast had left me light-headed but after a few moments I continued, finding my way to the top, to the church, to the view from above. I fully expected to see a church filled with priests and it wasn't until after Mass when I stopped by the office for a schedule that I realized their Mass was at 10:00. But, what a wonderful Communion Service with the deacon presiding. There were 4 men, the deacon with an altar boy and two in the pews, with us seven women. Eleven people. Was this normal?
I had no idea but what was unusual, or amazing, were the words from my morning prayer in the Magificat that met me in that pew in that church in those mountains of Maggie Valley, NC.

"Jesus instructed the disciples to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick - no food, no sack, no money in their belts. We are a pilgrim people, journeying through the varied landscapes of life, on our way to the heavenly Jerusalem. Let us travel light, unburdened by useless baggage - material or spiritual - and sing this pilgrim psalm to the God who has given us such a glorious goal in life."

And in the personal intentions, "...let us rejoice in the springs of living water which refresh us on our way."

All I could do for three days was just sit and drink it all in. God is good.

Careful, People Do Read These

2011-10-06T10:48:00.010-05:00

I sat last week in our church between my daughter and my friend Ellen at the funeral of one amazing man. My friend Ellen leaned over and told me how much she enjoys my blogs. I thanked her thinking to myself, ahhh! a reader. How nice! A family filed into the pew in front of us and as the boy knelt I leaned over to Ellen and pointing to the back of his suit coat simply said, "Clip that." The young man had left the white thread that held together the slit on the lower part of the back of his navy jacket and from further review I noticed the large paper tag was still on one sleeve. Ellen leaned back and simply said, "Just keep your eyes down." Okay! Okay! I had just posted about curbing curiosity and not lifting my eyes except to help another or to ask for help. Touche! I'd like to say that I was trying to help but really I was wondering how no one in that family had noticed the thread and the tag! I smiled and thought immediately how we who write or even sometimes just speak truly put ourselves out there and how we have to be careful to practice what we preach or at least try to practice. I loved that Ellen reminded me of my own words and what I had said I was going to work on for my own spiritual growth. So, I say to all who write or teach or parent or preach, "be careful", people really do listen and read and take notice and expect.

I Can't Seem to Help Myself

2011-09-29T11:52:00.008-05:00

I can be fully engaged in reading an article in a magazine and when someone comes into the office, I have to look up to see who has entered. I can be engrossed in reading the meditation for the day, sitting in the Chapel even, and when a kneeler goes down, I have to take a peek at who has joined me. I can be talking on the phone and as two people in the same room begin talking, I strain to try to hear both conversations. I have never really thought much about my curiosity or rather my nosiness until I read a meditation in the Magnificat magazine this month on Curbing Curiosity. Now, I can't seem to get it off my mind. Here's a little of what St. Bernard of Clairvaux has to say on the topic: "The first step of pride is curiosity. How does it show itself? Now you begin to notice that wherever you are, standing, walking or sitting, your eyes are wandering, your glance darts right and left, your ears are cocked. Some change has taken place in you, every movement shows it... My friend, if you gave yourself the attention you ought, I do not think you would have much time to look after others... Are the eyes never to be raised at all? Yes, but only for two reasons: to look for help and to help others." Whoa! What! And so, I've been trying but I have to say that it seems impossible not to lift my eyes and turn my head and listen to the murmurs. At first, I thought I would have no problem because I don't always pay much attention to gossip mainly due to the fact that I do not know who others are talking about anyway. But, not to lift or turn my head in curiosity. It's tough. I'll tell ya. Ya need to try this and as you do, or don't as the case will be, think about why you want to know who has entered, who has joined you and why, or who others are talking about or to. I personally, can't seem to help myself but I'm willing to keep trying. It really makes me stop and thing, maybe, just maybe, St. Bernard knows exactly what he's talking about and that's why we look to the words and wisdom of the saints. Just for today, just try to concentrate on raising our eyes only to look for help or to help others! I guess this is what my parents have been trying to tell me my entire life when they've said, "You take care of Julie and let everyone else take care of themselves."

Evidently, We All Have One

2011-09-29T11:12:00.008-05:00

This is a re-post and I truly hate to do it but I do love this story and it fits on this Feast of Saints Michael, Gabriel, and Raphael.

My mother shared with me one day that if you say the prayer to the Guardian Angel 5 times before you go to sleep, your protector's name would come to you the next day, somehow, plain and clear. So, that night before I lay my head on my pillow, I prayed. Around 2 a.m., I sat up in bed and the name Ferrell came into my head very clearly and that was all. I lay my head down and the alarm woke me up at 5 a.m., my mom picked me up at 6 a.m. and we drove to the airport to fly to Chicago to buy for Christmas. In the plane, I told my mom about my middle of the night experience and she simply confirmed, "Well, he's it." "He's what?" "Ferrell's your Guardian Angel. Now you can call him by name when you pray to him." Being a doubting one, I needed more proof and told her that if one of the new angels in the Roman showroom was named Ferrell, I'd be convinced. My mom couldn't believe I was making it so difficult.

We arrived in Chicago and were driven to the showroom where our representative was waiting to work with us. After buying for Christmas, we ate lunch and continued through the huge showroom, meticulously looking at each item. As we were about to end the day, we walked to the front to look at the new Seraphim angels and I said to mom, "Now if one of these new angel's name is Ferrell, then I'll believe." Our rep shuffled up behind us and asked why were were talking about the name Ferrell. I told him it was a long story and I'd share later. "I just asked because that's my middle name, Ferrell. It was my mother's maiden name and I don't hear it much. My full name is Jack Ferrell Carmody." I whipped my disbelieving head around to my mother who was wearing that goofy smile and just said, "Okay. Okay. I believe."

"Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's love commits me here, ever this day, be at my side to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen."

Canned, Frozen or Made from Scratch

2011-09-26T17:34:00.012-05:00

Yesterday I received this picture from my oldest daughter who is living with #2 daughter. The caption read, "This is what Sarah snuck into the basket at the grocery!! Hahaha." It really got me thinking about how these children are raised in the same house with the same parents and yet, they seem to turn out completely different from one another. Well, not completely. But while one can be adamant about putting together a real meal, the other can be satisfied with a simple can of Spaghettios. As I looked closely at the cans, I did see the word ORIGINAL on each can and I do agree with that...they are, each and every one, original. I definitely can agree that some are my children are all about made from scratch. Each and every aspect has to be fresh and new, seasoned well and cooked to perfection. Then, there's frozen. Doesn't care about much. Needs time to defrost slowly and would prefer not to be nuked to be brought back to room temperature. Once they come around they are seasoned just as well as if they started out fresh. Last, there's canned. Ready to go. Easy going and with or without the meatballs, prepared very well. Does the job even though has not taken as long to prepare. I believe this is pretty much the way God's made His children. Each and every one of us a little different in flavor and taste. Although we may move at a different pace, we each have our talents and our contributions to this life. We add our own spices. We may even seem bland to others in comparison but we are all a part of one big happy family whether canned, frozen or made from scratch. And mostly, we are all originals.

Happy Belated Birthday

2011-09-22T10:50:00.008-05:00

Yesterday was my mother's birthday and as much as I wanted to post about it yesterday, I didn't. So, I say, "Better late than never."
If I had to sum up my mother in one word, I think it would be the word "relationships". Seems my mom is all about relationships and has been since as far back as I can remember and even before that. Jean, mom, Nona, Mimi, Mrs. Dortch or Aunt Jean was the oldest of 3 children, always saying she had much to do with the raising of her younger brothers Joe and Billy Drennan. From the start her life was filled with family. Her mother and aunts gathered in the kitchen all day discussing and preparing meals, mending socks and crocheting. Her father was known for bringing home others who may need a place to stay or a meal or just people to talk to and it seemed an uncle or grandparents or someone always lived in their house (not uncommon during the depression). Her memories of the past are always told with love and laughter and are filled with she or her family's relationships to or with others. I remember visiting Uncle Joe and Aunt Nina and Uncle George and Buster and Audry and so on and so on. My point here is that I have learned this from my 51 years with this chic...relationships matter. Our relationship with God and with our spouses and our children and our co-workers and our siblings and extended family and our teachers and our church and school community and our friends both past and present really matters. All the other stuff is just that...stuff. How we relate to one another and deal with each other builds up the Kingdom of God.
So, on this day after my mom's birthday, let us all think about our relationships. She'll tell ya...first and foremost build that relationship with God and all other relationships and even the other stuff will fall right into place. Trust my mom. She knows. She's come a long way baby and just as is this message, building or mending relationships is better late than never.

Middle Aging

2011-09-15T14:02:00.010-05:00

I used to have two brains, one for work and one for home, and for a short time I had even a little extra for my passion, writing. However, since my over 50 birthday, there have been quite a few changes in my life. I've always enjoyed 10 minute power naps right before dinner, you know, the ones where your children ask you things the entire time your eyes are closed and swear later that you said they could spend the weekend at a friend's house or have a party and you were only out a few minutes but at the same time when you get up you feel like you've slept for an hour. Now, I need a 20 to 30 minute nap every afternoon. Somewhere between 3:30 and 5:30 I have suddenly started to have brain drain and my eyelids just can't seem to stay in the open position. Next, there's the weight issue. I have never been one to really watch what I eat so to speak but since that birthday, I have put on 15 lbs and no matter what I do, I can't seem to shake them. I know, I know, my metabolism has changed but when the heck is it gonna change back? People tell me just to walk a little each day but after 4 flights of stairs all day at work all I want to do is... yep, take a nap. To make matters a little more in my face, I still have 9, 11 and 13 year old children so I will be in grade school for a bit longer and hanging around those younger moms does not make me feel any better about myself. But, and there is a but, I have to be truthful about the fact that I am a lot less stressed about life. I have learned with the older three that it will all be okay. The kids will be fine even if I forget to pick them up from practice and the doctor will not go crazy if I happen to miss an appointment and even though a customer may get impatient, it's not the end of the world if their order does not get in on time. Life is too short to worry about all the little things that go on in this world. I say, take another vitamin or a nap and move along helping this world to be a better place for those who are to come. I do find myself spending more time in the Chapel and stopping by my parents' house just to chat. Thank goodness they are both on my street as well as my work and grade school. So, keep in mind, if I forget your name or leave a child at your house for days or look like I might fall asleep while you're talking or seem a little wide in the mid-section, be gentle with me, I'm middle aging.

New Magazine

2011-09-08T15:46:00.003-05:00

As I've mentioned before, I have started using the Magnificat for my morning readings and meditations which include the Mass and evening prayer. I absolutely love it but I have to admit that when I jumped on facebook and saw the post for our Bookstore with the quote from our new daily magazine, Give Us This Day by Liturgical Press, I was deeply moved and am tempted to use both meditations each day. I love that my daughter posted this:

‎"It really should come as no surprise that when we celebrate the birth of Mary we find ourselves contemplating the birth of the Son. Here again Mary, the mother of Jesus, becomes our model for discipleship. A question to ponder on this feast of Mary's birth: When people look at me, as when they look at Mary, do they see Jesus?"

-Father Anthony Oelrich (from today's "Reflection" in "Give Us This Day" Sept. 2011)

Morning at the Motherhouse

2011-09-08T11:02:00.013-05:00

Got a call yesterday from a sweet young Dominican Sister of St. Cecilia who asked if I could help her find a crucifix for the wall behind the desk in the Motherhouse infirmary. She thought maybe she could even take some samples and test them on the wall to see which would suit the space better. I had no problem with any of that. She then proceeded to offer that I may even come see the space for myself and help her with the decision. (Ohhh those sisters!) I told her that I really needed to come visit my 8th grade teacher anyway so I could come out if she got it all authorized by Mother. She returned the call in an instant and all was set for me to go this morning. Well, let's not waste any time!
I can not express how grateful I am to Sr. Anne Francis for getting me over their to visit and to talk. First, I grabbed a crucifix we had at the store even though I knew it would be too small but thought it would help us with coloring. Come to find out that the infirmary is named for St. Martin de Porres (Lima, Peru) and the crucifix that I happened to grab was..... yes, made in and imported from Peru. It was perfect all the way around. Second, I had an amazing visit with my 8th grade teacher, Sr. Diane, for quite a while before she was taken to a small birthday party for Our Blessed Mother with cake and ice cream. I think she was a bit disappointed that the ice cream would be vanilla and not chocolate. Goodness gracious I gave that poor sister a fit in 8th grade and she still loves me unconditionally. God Bless her! And lastly, on the way out, I was able to duck into their beautiful chapel and they were having Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament. Could it get any better? And, all because this young sister suggested I spend a little time on my only day off helping her and visiting with an old friend. Again, may I just say, I am grateful for her and these God-incidences in my life.
Today, on her birthday, may Our Lady hold us all in Her mantle and bring us closer to Her Son.

Croquet

2011-09-05T06:46:00.011-05:00

Before Mass started yesterday, an old friend came in the opposite side of our pew to speak to my parents. I smiled and put my hand up to say hello and she responded then sat down next to my mom and spoke for a few minutes to she and my dad. Seeing her reminded me of all the wonderful times we had together as kids. There were six of them who matched up almost perfectly with our oldest six. Her younger sister and I were practically inseparable until we went to different high schools. But the thing I remember most about Kathy was her passion for winning especially during a simple, friendly (haha) game of croquet. You know, croquet is one of those games that takes a little time to set up properly but she didn't seem to mind as long as we would play for several days in a row, or until the grass had to be cut. We all had our favorite colors we wanted but Maureen and I often had to settle after the older ones had their pick. Then, it was game on and there was no mercy. For some reason, I feared Kathy the most. If she was anywhere close to another ball, she would make the hit and send that sucker for a buggy ride every time even if the choice of 2 strokes could give her a better advantage. She loved clearing the field of all the possible other challengers. Today, I know she is still a fierce competitor. I know she runs marathons and I've seen pictures of her participating in the Ironman Triathlon. I believe she has her pilot's license and she coaches amazing cross country teams and she's brilliant. Who knew the possibilities that a simple game from our youth could pass on and be used in our adult lives? Healthy competition, rules to follow, toughness, intelligence, perseverance. During our youth, we looked up to these older siblings. We watched and we paid attention and we followed. We were fortunate and when I saw my old neighbor at Mass, I remembered instantly all the good that has been handed down.

Who Do You Say That I Am?

2011-09-01T10:32:00.008-05:00

Each year our grade school chooses a theme for the year that helps to connect the events and the classrooms with the faculty, the students and the parents. This year's theme is, "Who do you say that I am?" That wonderful question Jesus puts to Peter and Peter responds to properly, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." We witness in this response that Jesus is not only human but also Divine. We understand that He is so much more than just a prophet or a teacher or a leader or a follower.

During the parent-teacher night last night and last Thursday night and the Wednesday night the week before that (yes, 3 weeks in a row), I began thinking about who I am and who my children are to others and how people identify us. Many, many times throughout every year I have people stop me in the grocery store or at a ball game and say, "Oh. St. Mary's Bookstore. Right?" I am often stopped at school or at a party and asked, "Now you're Beth's mom, or Sarah's or Will's or Margaret's or Nicholas' or Julia's. Right?" In church or in a restaurant, "Aren't you Bill and Jean's daughter?" At work, "Allen's wife? or Donna's sister? or Ted's aunt?" All answers are correct. I am one of the faces of the bookstore and I am a mother and a daughter and a wife and a sister and an aunt. I am an author and a reader and a talker and a listener. I am a daughter of Christ, the Son of the living God.

Today, as the disciples are called to be "fishers of men", we are reminded that we too are called to bring others closer to Christ, the Son of the living God. As we encounter others, may we think today about how they identify us and who we need to be to them. What is our connection and how can we be so much more? Who do others say that we are?

Gleaning

2011-08-25T12:53:00.012-05:00

Last week sometime, the good padre spoke during his homily about gleaning and I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. In my next little book coming out after the first of the year from Our Sunday Visitor, I have a paragraph about the famous artwork, "The Gleaners". As I have processed Fr.'s words and my own, I have come to realize the importance of gleaning in this world. As parents, we do some sort of gleaning most every day (picking up the leftovers). For example, I tend to think that parents get the food that is left after each of their children have taken their plates. But it's not just all about food. It's about the great parts of life in general. We'd be crazy to think that we want our kids to have anything but the best that is available and we'd be glad to settle for a little less to give it to them. However, another important point was made about gleaning. Fr. stated that he hoped that every Catholic Business College offered a course on gleaning. His point was on the importance of leaving enough behind with each business venture so that everyone has an equal chance to a life filled with opportunities to work and to food and to clean air and water and all the necessities of the world. Not just leaving behind so others can pick up the leftover scraps and survive, but leaving a fair share so that all mankind can have a good life. Some day, maybe some day, those who are wealthier or more powerful can take just enough and leave just enough so that all may prosper. As we plow through this life picking up the first batch that lies in our path, may we consciously leave enough for those who come behind us.

Mother-in-Laws

2011-08-20T06:24:00.006-05:00

"He will be your comfort and the support of your old age, for his mother is the daughter-in-law who loves you. She is worth more to you than seven sons!"
As I read the story of Naomi and Ruth today, I am reminded of how fortunate I was to have my mother-in-law as a part of my life. A strong woman who dedicated her life to her husband, her children, her grandchildren and her friends, she also spent hours a day working with disabled children in our schools as a physical therapist. After the long week of work, she would appear on Saturdays to help her son care for her grandchildren, taking them places or just playing games with them while he cut grass or ran errands or merely just survived while I was at work. She seemed to be always on the move, always happy and always willing to give a little more herself. As she battled cancer, I remembered vividly my daughter sitting with her and rubbing her bald head. I was so worried that they would bother her but she never missed a chance to love my children. When she had to go for full care from Hospice, I slipped over one afternoon for a visit. I sat and talked to the nurses and told stories about her grandchildren. Before I left, I looked into her eyes and told her, "You are a wonderful mother and grandmother. I love you." She mouthed back, "I love you too." It was the last visit I would have with her and as usual, she gave me so much more than I ever could have given her. I will say it again, I was so fortunate to have a wonderful mother-in-law.

Here I Am Lord

2011-08-18T15:30:00.010-05:00

As we repeated the Responsorial Psalm today, "Here I am Lord, I come to do Your will", Fr. used the opportunity to touch on the importance of answering the call, the call of our vocations, the call to follow His will for us and the call to answer His invitation. Passed down to me from my parents and from their parents and from my siblings are the examples and the teachings of answering the call, of responding to those in need, of being my best self, of rising to the occasion, of following His will. I can only hope that in my daily walk, I do a little of a lot of what He calls me to do. I can only hope and pray that in this short life I have, and will, respond well to the opportunities, to the needs, to the call. As I have said before, my mom always has awesome displays at our bookstore. The picture here is a tiny example of her being perfectly in sinc with the scripture readings while catching the eye of the customer. As I have struggled this year to discover, What next Lord?, I have become keenly aware of those around me who are constant, who never set down the receiver, who wake every day to follow His will (whether they are fully aware or not). In the meantime, I remain open. I remain willing. I remain in awe.

Pinking Shears

2011-08-11T05:59:00.007-05:00

Pinking shears have a utilitarian function for cutting woven cloth. Cloth edges that are unfinished will easily fray, the weave becoming undone and threads pulling out easily. The sawtooth pattern does not prevent the fraying but limits the length of the frayed thread and thus minimizes damage.
For some very strange reason, the conversation at breakfast last Sunday with my parents led to pinking shears. So often when we were young, the only pair of scissors to be found around our house were just that, pinking shears. As I ponder this I realize the significance of being raised in a family that rarely went straight by the book, kept everyone in line or cut right to the point. As I see it, we were raised to have utilitarian functions for weaving through this world. We were given the right tools and the proper example not to be easily frayed or undone by life. Oh sure, as with everything and everyone, "things" occur that can cause damage but we were prepared to deal with such times by clinging to our faith and to our family so as to limit and minimize. What a wonderful tool for my parents to have passed down and what a perfect time to be reminded that life itself is just not about straight lines and easy paths and completely finished products. There will always be a little fraying, a little unraveling but if we can stay close to the very One who can minimize the effects, we have learned to use the tools given wisely. Not always easy, but effective. And, we have to do the work. We have to trudge the uneven paths. We have to persevere through the crooked roads. We have to deal with the unraveling. If there's damage, may it be minimal. If fraying, may the pattern we are given limit the length. May God be with us all as we cut through this seemingly uneven, frayed life and search for meaning and for love and for the way back to the very One who gives us life.

I Have Become Fully Aware...

2011-08-04T09:02:00.005-05:00

that I could never have gotten this far along in life if I had not had these kids. Oh sure, I could have survived but I would have just been a mess all the time. For instance, I never would be capable of getting myself dressed and if I did, my clothes would not match or they would be out of style. My shoes too would NOT go with the outfit and the accessories, if I dared to attempt, would be completely wrong. My purse would be the wrong color and there would be no way it would be in season. Without my kids, the calendar on the wall would just contain the days and not include the lists of doctor and dentist appointments as well as practices and birthdays and invitations. Besides the fact that I would never even remember to look at what needs done in a day if these kids did not remind me. There would be no one to tell me the laundry needs done or what's in the washer needs dried for an event the next day or that certain items need pulled out and not dried all the way. How would I have made it in this life? No one would tell me that they were embarrassed by my behavior and that I should not say anything to their teachers or their friends or ever speak to someone of the opposite sex with the exception of their father. What would I be thinking? No one would direct my path as to what to read or what to write. I would never even know how to turn on a computer or change the TV to HD. I never realized how clueless I could be before I had these kids. Thank You God for giving me someone to dress me and to check on me in the shower and to watch what I say in public. Thank You for these wise little ones who keep me going in this world in which evidently I know nothing. Thank You for sending them to save me from myself. And, thank You for allowing me to become fully aware that I would never make it without their guidance. Today and every day, I thank You for these kids.

Led by a Cloud

2011-07-28T07:12:00.009-05:00

The challenge given to me this morning is to strictly let my life be led by what God wants me to do and not always by what I want to do. He has a plan. I'm all over the place. He wants me to finish. I just want to get on with the next best thing. He wants me to stop and think. I want to move on. He wants me to rest in His goodness. I want that and so much more. Today, we are called to be led by the cloud. When God wants us to move on, He will lift the cloud, He will give the sign, we will know. When He wants us to stay still and finish or contemplate on the task at hand, He will leave the cloud and we are to remain. Here is yet another time in our lives when we are challenged to be totally in sinc with what God wants us to do and not just humm drum through life doing whatever we please and never really finishing anything or accomplishing anything meaningful. Today as everyday we are called to listen to Him, to know His will and to follow Him completely. Not an easy task by any means.
"Whenever the cloud rose from the Dwelling, the children of Israel would set out on their journey. But if the cloud did not lift, they would not go forward; only when it lifted did they go forward."

What Does 51 Look Like?

2011-07-27T19:09:00.015-05:00

The other day my 13 year old daughter said, "I'm not trying to brown nose or anything but you DO NOT LOOK 51." "Oh, well, thanks honey." "You look more like 45."
This week being my birthday week, I've been thinking a lot about just what 51 looks like. When I was 13, my mom was 41. Quite frankly, I was too busy thinking about myself to even wonder what my mom was looking like or acting like. Nice.
After much thought, I remembered having dinner a little over a week ago with a group of other 51 year old girls who I graduated from high school with and we shared something that each one of us has accomplished recently. So, I came up with something like this. Fifty-one looks like owning an accomplished design business, closing on a new condominium, going to Washington to fight for the rights of the people, having amazing children, being a photographer, being promoted in my law office, taking care of an aging father between working and maintaining a home of my own, running a dance studio, carriage racing (yes, like in Ben Hur), publishing a second book while running a bookstore and raising six children, walking and running and taking time first for God and for family and for friends. Fifty-one looks and feels great. I am at 51, lucky to have been handed down strong genes from a strong woman who has done amazing things and never looked or acted her age. What does 51 look like? It looks like whatever you want it to be and from where I'm standing, it looks like we've come a long way and we have quite a long way to go.

"Called the Doctor and the Doctor said..."

2011-07-22T06:49:00.009-05:00

I took three of my children for their physicals yesterday and I have to say, "What a pleasure." The entire time my daughters were fulfilling requests, the physician assistant was discussing about what to expect during these times in their lives and how to react to them. She would ask, "Do you have a cell phone or a facebook or twitter account?" "No ma'am." Smile for mom. "Well, when you do, always use the Church test when texting or sending any message to a friend or acquaintance. If what you want to say cannot be put on a large screen in the front of the congregation at church, do not send it." "Are your parents always in your business?" "Yes ma'am." "They do that because they care about and love you. Know that if you are ever at a friend's house and something is going on that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can call your parents and they will come and pick you up no questions asked. Do you wear a helmet when you ride a bike? How do you cross the street?" "Ummm. Look both ways?" "Of course, great." "You may worry that your actual weight is more than that of your friends but that's because muscle weighs more and you are quite strong." Smiles. My girls have starting running together and walking to stay in shape this summer, despite the heat. And the conversation went on and on. Positive talk about positive choices. How fortunate I am to have these pediatricians and their assistants and their nurses who love my children and know how they are being raised and who want to keep us all on the same page and confirm our choices. I realized yesterday that we have been together 23 years and I cannot say there has been anything but joy except for one incident with a shot and my youngest. Amazing group. As I told them yesterday, we are blessed.
When we were young, we too had the same doc the entire time, Dr. Daugherty, and the same nurse, Ms. Barnes. I had my tonsils out in his office. Those were the days. He seemed to be on the same page with my mom back then too. Nothing like a good physician.

The Blessing of God's Peace

2011-07-13T06:41:00.005-05:00

As I open my Magnificat (daily reading and so much more magazine) yesterday, the short morning meditation is a continuation of my own meditation and morning blog. I sit with the words just long enough to feel the Holy Spirit move throughout. "The unity for which Christ lived and died is not an abstract ideal. It is the result of hard work: suspending judgment, choosing others before self, forgiving, seeking reconciliation rather than nursing hurt pride. In other words, it requires that we die to self in Christ. The fruit? The blessing of God's peace!" Ahhhh, God's peace. The death of these things, all this stuff that holds us back, allows me to shrink so that Christ can be seen and the outcome is peace. God's peace. I thanked God to read that it is "hard work". It sounds so easy and yet it is all such a struggle for me to work on my dirt, to work on my self, to discover this blessing. God's peace.

Good Dirt

2011-07-12T05:48:00.016-05:00

"But some seed fell on rich soil and produced fruit, a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold. Whoever has ears ought to hear.”
I have been thinking about the homily this past Sunday and cannot get out of my mind how important it is for me to work on my dried up, clunky old soil. Fr. Steve spoke about "good dirt". You know, the kind that something has to die to create. Maybe something needs to die like self-righteousness and over-confidence and pride. Maybe something like bad habits and the desire to be the center of attention and words. I've been thinking that to be good dirt doesn't mean I have to be boring and quiet. Quite the opposite, most of the good dirt I know is kind of fun and attractive. "Things" want to burrow in it and stay. I'd like to take that kind of good dirt and roll my kids around in it, let them cake it on their faces and throw it at one another. I witness that kind of good dirt take the seed that God sows and turn out an amazing harvest. I certainly do not want the gifts He sends to be "eaten up" or "scorched" or "choked". There's definitely enough of that being done in this world. Talents being held back and gifts being thrown away because the world screams they are not deserved or there is something better. We need good dirt. We need these things that get to us, this world, to die so that we can have the richness we need to grow and to produce fruit that can overcome all that holds us back from the love and goodness. I need to work on my dirt. Cultivate. Mulch. Weed. Prepare. The work can be fun and the results certainly worth it.

Painting

2011-07-09T06:11:00.010-05:00

I love to paint. Now don't get me wrong, I can't paint like my mother, the artist here, but I love to paint the rooms of my house. There's something calming in the painting. There's something that relaxes me and renews me as I refresh a room. Granted, it's often a struggle to find the time and to overcome the soreness the next several days after going up and down the ladder a million times and lying on the floor and holding my mouth just right but it's always worth the time and the struggle. I like to do things where I can see and enjoy the accomplishment. Doesn't everyone? Painting gives me time to be alone except for the few strokes that my girls just have to try. Painting frees my mind of the outside world. It brings to life a new look and it makes me happy (and that's not because of the fumes). In a way, it makes me appreciate a real painter's incredible talent and it helps me to understand the hours one can spend at the task. There is solitude and joy and peace in painting.

Play Well

2011-07-06T14:21:00.013-05:00

Joseph wept. Were his brothers sorry because he was their family and they mistreated him or were they sorry because of the consequence?
When we were young and our parents punished us for mistreating another sibling, I know, without a doubt, that I was sorry because I got caught. Now, as I correct my own children for teasing one another, they immediately have some excuse but rarely are they sorry because their sibling is hurt, rather because they are soon to be punished. Yep, what goes around comes around. Now, I'm just saying, God made us a family and although we didn't get to pick our siblings we should some how learn to get along because we should, not to keep from some punishment. From as far back as the OT to the NT to the 1960's to now, parents and leaders have been trying to teach us all to just love one another. To care for one another. To not sell out our brother the minute something better comes along or he/she irritates us. Jesus chooses His Apostles, us as disciples, as students, to learn to live together, to work together, to play together and to get along. Sometimes the way we treat one another makes us too want to weep. We are a family and the need to be together has been handed down through generations. Today, may we treat all as family, loving one another, treating each other well because it is the right thing to do.

Wrestling with Life, Holding on to God

2011-07-05T20:06:00.007-05:00

Life is filled with challenges that we all have to encounter from time to time. Life is filled with joys as well as sorrows and through it all, if we cling to God, we work through to a place where we are sure that He is all we need.
In the reading from Genesis today, we hear that Jacob wrestles through the night and holds on to the One he has encountered face to face until God grants him a blessing. He holds on. In the Gospel reading paired with this we see the people coming to Jesus in their sickness and their brokenness and in His compassion, He comforts and He cures. They hold on to Him. "The harvest is abundant" as is the need in this world for us to comfort and for us to be aware of all in need, of all who wrestle with every facet of life. "The laborers are few" and those who are aware of the loving, saving power of the One we will some day meet face to face are needed. We wrestle and we hold on and we are called to bring others, to teach, to comfort and to care. As we all limp through this life, may we bring others a little closer to Him, to the One who is our all.

Changes

2011-06-30T19:43:00.015-05:00

We just bought this cute little house in Chattanooga for our two oldest girls. Beth graduated this past May from Spring Hill College in Mobile and Sarah is a Senior at UT Chattanooga. I went over Tuesday and worked, painting and replacing trim. There is so much more to be done and although I absolutely love the challenge, it is tiring. We go up again tomorrow for the long weekend. I should be able to get the bedrooms and kitchen finished. I know I'll have to go another time to tile the entry and work on the bathrooms. So much had been completely renovated but what was left, was left and will need to be finished. But, it's a two hour drive and I love painting and patching and caulking and making things right. I have a slight pit in my stomach having Beth move in this weekend. It does feel final. My guess is that this is the last time to have her in our house. Leaving her at college was a breeze compared to this weekend. She has a real job with the Alzheimer's Association that starts next week and she's off and running. Bitter sweet. We're all going up for the weekend so I look forward to having the family all together. Working together. Helping their sisters. It's exciting and yet... change, no matter what, is just difficult.

St. John the Baptist

2011-06-24T21:31:00.004-05:00

I couldn't help but think about the loneliness of St. John today. His time out in the desert from when he was a young boy. And yet, we cannot help but think of his incredibly, selfless life. He was the first to express his joy over the presence of Jesus in his life. He welcomed all those who came to him in need. He made himself small so that Jesus could be seen clearly. He was so close to our Savior, yet instead of spending time with Him, he performed the tasks to bring others to Him. Oftentimes, we may feel like we are the only ones in a certain part of the journey in our faith. We may sound odd in our beliefs. We may be looked upon as trying to be goody-goodies. We may feel a pull to spend more time alone with our God. We may invite others and find empty stares. But, we can know today that we are not alone. There is one who is a quiet leader and who gives a perfect example. St. John the Baptist knows what it is like to feel alone and yet never be without the One who means everything. St. John knows what it is like to feel complete joy. He knows what it is to live his entire life for the One who gives Eternal life. What better example could we find then this one who we celebrate today. St. John the Baptist, be our guide. Lead us. Help us. Teach us your ways.

Be Different

2011-06-24T06:11:00.008-05:00

I can't seem to get out of my head the story Fr. Joe told about St. Thomas More on Tuesday. There must be a reason. He started by proclaiming, "St. Thomas More is one of his favorite saints". A man in a great position in England until King Henry decided to appoint himself ruler over the Church. St. Thomas could not go along with the deal. When asked by some of the people around him to just sign that he agreed purely as being a part of the community, Thomas More said something like, "If I sign and lose my soul and go to hell, then will you go with me 'Just to be part of the community'"? Just going along with the crowd and losing our very souls! Oh, how many times I just had to be a part of the crowd! Thomas More was a regular (sort of) layperson, a father, a brilliant man, a writer and a faithful servant who found himself locked in a tower and ultimately put to death because of his great faith. He simply would not follow the crowd and turn against his faith. And, we can only ask how? How do we love so completely even to the point of losing our own life? How do we not follow the crowd and how do we teach our children not to follow the crowd? After all, everyone is doing it! And mom, I mean everyone. Then be different. Stand strong. Believe that oftentimes, most times, silence is golden. This world is tough but no tougher than the world of St. Thomas More. Save a soul. Go against the grain. This world is temporary. Heaven is forever. Be different.

Work Each Day Toward a Firm Foundation

2011-06-23T09:51:00.004-05:00

Our reading from Matthew today is all about firm foundations and it has made me think long and hard about what kind of foundation I'm building in this house. I've also been thinking deeply about how critical I am of others and how I know because I am seeing this being handed down to my children. This needs to stop. No doubt. I had no idea how bad I was until the same habits started showing up in the kids. Ouch! I'm sure that God did not mean for me to build a foundation of judgment and righteousness. Where did that come from? My parents don't do that...judge others. As a matter of fact, they could not stand for us to speak about our siblings or anyone else for all that matter. You know, my mom had all the sayings like "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" and "Walk in someone else' shoes" and something about looking in a mirror. Today, I hear loud and clear the importance of building good foundations because I am well aware that all eyes are on me. My children are reflections of my work and if my work is not for the Lord and of God, then it is better that it not be rock solid so that it can wash away and we can start all over. A firm foundation, rich in mercy and humility and acceptance. It's so much easier to break down than to build up. Thank God, each day is a new beginning. God help us all. In the world and in my house.

Calgon Take Me Away

2011-06-22T06:07:00.007-05:00

I know there is not a single person in this world who wants to hear about another being who feels overwhelmed (don't we all). But I had to laugh at myself yesterday while I was paying bills for the bookstore and paying my household bills (don't tell my boss) of which one was already late (don't tell my husband) and catching a text message from my cousin's wife in Chattanooga who was letting in the Sears (there's more for your life) delivery guys for new appliances (that we drove to Chattanooga on Monday and purchased at the outlet store) being put into our house we closed on last week for our two oldest daughters (one who just graduated from Spring Hill and landed a job at the Alzheimer's Assoc. and the other in college at UT Chattanooga) because for the next several years it will be cheaper and a better investment (obviously) than an apartment. All I could think was "Calgon take me away!" Remember that woman lying in the tub filled with bubbles and smiling, relaxed without a care in the world or a child in the room?

Enter Through the Narrow Gate

2011-06-21T06:09:00.006-05:00

"How narrow and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few." I have been trying lately to pay close attention to short, hidden paths and small openings to where Christ is leading me. Tiny voices, obscure people, chance meetings, narrow paths. And today, a lesson from the life and words of St. Aloysius Gonzaga. Talk about choosing the narrow gate when he had in front of him the massive gates of a kingdom. Hmmm. Kingdom on earth. Kingdom in Heaven. Hmmm. Riches of this world. Poverty of spirit. Hmmm. Serving in a castle. Serving in a hospital. Man oh man did this guy choose the road less traveled but his quote from St. Bernard (about the apparition of the angel sent to the shepherds at the nativity of Christ) says all about his choices. "How many of the powerful and of the wise men of the world were resting in their soft beds at that hour, and none of them was esteemed worthy to see this new light, to know that great joy and to hear the angels singing!" His choice to detach himself from the riches of this world frees him to see the light, to know the joy and to hear the voices sent down from heaven.
I know, personally, that I this whole idea is nearly impossible for me. I like the big doors and lots of attention and easy paths. There are tugs and pulls and I know He wants more but for me it seems I move two steps forward and three steps back daily. Lately, I'm just treating each day as a new beginning. A new possibility. A fresh start. Today I will think of St. Bernard's words and of St. Aloysius' ways and I will pray to make the right choices, to say the right things, to follow the narrow way. May every day bring each one of us a new beginning and a fresh possibility to see new light, to know great joy and to hear the angels sing.

Trinity Sunday

2011-06-19T10:02:00.013-05:00

"This congregation is very lucky! I could speak for hours on the Trinity." The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are always, always in perfect sync with one another. They have a perfect relationship. They are in perfect harmony. Jesus was sent to invite us into that relationship. To invite us to be open to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. We are asked to mend our ways, encourage one another, agree with one another and live in peace. The same peace we recognize in the Trinity. I immediately thought of the way my children handle their relationships with one another. How crazy our household often is and yet how peaceful it can be. It is true that where 2 or 3 are gathered in His name, there He is. Fr. Joe's theory is that this is because if there is more than one human, we need Him with us. Amen to that! We need Him in our relationships. We need the peace He offers. He loves us and so He does invite us, He does call us, He does offer for us to join in a relationship. We are all broken in some way and so we need to be open to the gift of the Father to send His Son and to leave us with His Spirit. We are indeed very lucky.

They Said It, We Heard It, Simple is Best

2011-06-16T10:28:00.003-05:00

If you happened upon the readings this morning, you already know where I'm going and if you didn't, I'll fill you in. I repeat how St. Paul began by saying, "Please put up with me." As I hear it today, spreading the simple message of the love of Christ and praying the simple prayers, such as the Our Father, are all He asks of us today. We can use all the big words and sit and try to think of huge ways to pray and to praise and to worship, but for today, Jesus says to keep it simple. Do not babble. Do not over think. Do not super size. Do not look for others to follow that you think will lead you down the right path. Follow Jesus. Pray the prayer to the Father. Be open to the Holy Spirit. This path seems too simple. This way is less traveled maybe because it is so simple, it is just hard to believe, too good to be true. But it is all confirmed today. No difficult words. No heavy reading and rereading. Spread His word with simplicity and humility and pray the prayers we need for our daily bread, for forgiveness, for guidance and for protection. Simple is best.

Calm Down and Read the Instructions

2011-06-16T06:10:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I was in a wad trying to copy legal size documents to my half broken copier and get them signed and sent back for the closing on a little place we have found for our two oldest. I could get 13 out of 16 pages printed perfectly but the last pages just would not work. What the heck? I was getting really angry when the thought came just to go down the street and let the "professional copy people" handle this job for me. So, in the midst of a thunderstorm, and I mean nature was pouring and lighting up the sky, I jumped in my car and humbly headed for help. The first place, where I knew the guy and expected great help, sent me to a computer and told me to tell him when I was ready to print. So, I inserted my credit card and began, only to wait and wait and find out that the internet was down because of the storm. I was offered a dry place to stay until the storm quit but I expressed my need to move on because of a deadline, not without saying, "I'll just find another company who can do this for me. Thanks anyway." I was rude. I was charged one dollar for nothing but the light of my short fuse. I moved to the next place where the guy assured me that it would be no problem. I logged into my email fine and he went to his ginormous printer. As another employee entered the scene, I saw my guy point to the paper tray and ask if the paper was legal size. Ugh! Then I noticed it. The badge. "In Training". I had no time for learning. My clock was ticking and my documents had to be scanned and returned to GA then checked then next day aired. The trainee finally conceded after several trials the he could not print them in legal size. He did however get them printed in letter size and it "looks like most of the pages printed". "No, the tops of all of these pages are missing." "Oh, well, if you want them, I'll have to charge you." I wasn't leaving them with him with all my bank info, etc. "Well, he had a shredder in the back and he could shred them. No, not then, but he would do it." "No thanks. How much for what I did not ask for?" One dollar sixty cents but if I have my rewards card it would save me 10 percent. Finally, I just had to burst. "I'm angry right now. I'm paying for something I don't want and I don't care about 10 percent. I need to get these documents back to GA by 3:00 and it's 2:15." Long story short, I went back to my own little printer and read the manual, which if you've read here before is completely against my family's grain, and figured out how to print and got it all done and signed and next day aired and they should arrive today, the good Lord willin'. Now, why don't I just calm down and read the instructions? It would save time and frustration and a whole lot of unnecessary anger toward those in their workplace who do not really care whether or not customers ever return. Oops. Maybe I'm still a little angry but good grief, get a grip. Anyway, amidst the horrible storms yesterday, and I don't just mean from nature, God was good and all was done and I have learned that if I'd just calm down in the first place and work step by step with persistence and faith and the instructions, I can get it all done. (Can't we all?)

What Concern of it is Yours?

2011-06-14T12:02:00.005-05:00

In the Saturday's optional reading from John 21, we hear Jesus tell Peter to mind his own business and just follow Him. Oh boy did this ring home with me. Always thinking about what everyone else is doing and saying and how I measure up to what God expects of me versus others. Fr. Joe said, "What about him? What about her? Why do we worry about others, about fairness, about equality? We are to keep our eyes and our heart focused on Christ because as St. Therese would tell us, 'He is enough.'" And so He is. Thank God, He is.

No Candles Necessary

2011-06-13T06:42:00.004-05:00

Just a short note to mention my boy's 16th birthday last Sunday. What a great kid I am blessed with in this 6'2 1/2" man. He's good to his grandparents and his parents. He's good to his siblings most of the time, ribbing his younger brother, hanging out with his two older sister, oftentimes making lunch for the younger ones. He doesn't need much; no big birthday bash, not even candles for the cake. He's laid back and about one of the kindest kids I know. He'll say he doesn't care, but he cares and I am very proud of him in every way.

Kindness Amongst the Crazies

2011-06-10T06:35:00.011-05:00

Yesterday, my 15 year old, 9 year old and I went to the Driver License Center for a Learner's Permit. May I just say ha ha ha! Three hours later. When we went at 11, the line was out the door and down the sidewalk. We went home and ate lunch and at 2 the line was just outside the door so we ventured forth. An old couple stood with us who merely wanted to have their pictures on their licenses for traveling purposes. The woman warned us that the last time she did this she waited 3 hours, and she was right on the nose. But, here's what I believe (maybe) was passed on to us during 3 hours of pure, possible TV drama. There are many people here who do not know that they cannot get a license without proof of U.S. citizenship. Women who get cut in line by scary men can stand their ground, speak nicely and get their place back without brawling. When the sign reads "please do not use cell phones" it means do not use them no matter how angry you are and how much help you need. Everyone waits, make the most of it and talk to your neighbor. Don't yell out in a crowd and make the people behind the counter angry; they just work slower. Be prepared. Get online and have the proper paperwork and if you don't have access to that, call and ask but don't scream at the person just doing their job if you don't come to the facility with your original birth certificate. Patience, kindness, self-control, equality, politeness and a darn good attitude going in can get anyone a driving permit, a picture on your existing license, an address change or a new license in 3 hours no problem. This poor facility was so under-staffed, it just made us wonder how these workers come back day after day and take the verbal abuse and general flack from people who really need their service. There is a lot to learn about others out there in the real world and to wonder about the state of our government. It can be scary at times but after yesterday, we know, kind is what kind does and how kind acts. Be kind to others. Btw-He passed. Third driver on the way!

Let's Put a Name to the Face

2011-06-09T06:34:00.005-05:00

I need to start asking for names. I'm pretty good about it when someone asks me to pray for them. I like to make a personal request if I can remember. Sometimes I ask and then forget when speaking to the Man upstairs but I still feel that since I asked He can fish it from my memory. After all, He is God. I like putting a name to a face. I met many of the phone salespeople last week at the Religious Book Trade Exhibit who send me constant email blasts at work about new releases and new product. Now, every time I receive a notice, I can picture Lauren and Rose and Julie and Mike and Amy and so on. The face God put me in touch with just makes the messaging a little more personal. So, why in the world do I forget to ask the names of the street guys I meet? Is it easier if I don't make our encounter personal? And why did God put this thought into my head today? Don't get me wrong, I know Roy and William and Kenny and Byrd but it's because someone else has taken the time to ask their name and understand their story. The only street person I can think of who I ever asked her name was Tina and I believe that is because she was obviously a girl and I guess I thought it safe to actually know her. God knows each of us by name and cares for us personally. I think I'm going to start trying to remember to put a name with the face. This will help me remember them and remember to pray for them. Last weekend, I had a street guy walk through the lot while I was unpacking my car and at first I acted like I didn't hear him. He wanted money for food. Well, don't they all. I usually get food for them so they will really eat but instead I called him back and gave him money from my pocket. He said, "Ma'am, you'll get this back." "No, it won't and it's okay." "Yes ma'am. God will bless you for helping me. You will receive a special blessing in some way. I know you will." Then, poof. He was gone and I haven't seen him since. I liked what he said to me. Can't get it off my mind. What was his name? What was his story? If I had done as others around me, I would have asked. Maybe, we all should take a little more time to know one another. You know, put a name to a face. Pray for one another personally. Know the one with whom we do business. Give someone the opportunity to tell us about themselves. Maybe, they'll make our day.

The Invisible Mother

2011-06-09T06:04:00.003-05:00

I was sent this yesterday and thought it well worth passing along. Even if you've seen it before, it's worth reading again.

The Invisible Mother......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously, not. No one can see that I'm on the phone, or cooking, or vacuuming the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The Invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Can you pick me up at 5:30?'

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the
greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, 4 life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

1. No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have
no record of their names.
2. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they
would never see finished.
3. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
4. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith
that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte . I see the sacrifices you make
every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and
smile about. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the an antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my daughter to tell the friend she's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and
bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to
myself. I just want her to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to her friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM! Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know...I just did. Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does. We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

Communion Service

2011-06-08T06:37:00.007-05:00

Our priests are on retreat this week and we can only get a morning Communion service versus our regular morning Mass around here. When I mentioned this to my father, he was disappointed. Said he felt bad going to a Communion service because that would be just for him, as opposed to going to Mass for Him. I've never really thought about it. Never separated the two. My daughter said, "Yes, I agree, attending Mass is all about worshiping Him and just going for Communion is padding on the graces for her." Or something like that in easy for me to understand terms. I said I understood but I just, again, never really separated the two. Soooo, as I ran to morning Communion service yesterday, I made a special effort for a little praise and worship during and after the service and I have to say, "What a difference in my small little heart and soul." At one point, and please don't think I'm crazy, but I heard Him say that He was pleased. Tears ran down my face. He continued to say that He was not just pleased with my effort there but also when I pray to Him through His Mother. I do love the rosary and I'm not as slow as I sound. I know that He speaks to me continually and I just am not always open to His words and I know the difference between Mass and Communion service, but I just had to share how pleased I believe He is at our conscious efforts to go a little farther and to seek a deeper meaning and stay a little longer. I pray I can be a little more open, a little more on task, a little more ready every day. May we all be open to finding more ways to give back and to worship and to praise Him because the return on our investment is worth it all.

Passing It On

2011-06-07T06:20:00.004-05:00

Last week I took my annual trip to St. Charles, IL for the Religious Book Trade Exhibit. It is one of my favorite shows because we get to meet authors and editors and marketing directors and sales managers from most of the publishers. It is fun and exciting. We buy and we talk and we laugh and we learn for 3 1/2 days. We meet with stores just like ourselves who love the ministry and continually try to learn new ways of not just surviving but of thriving. My mother used to go with me on this trip but last year I brought my oldest daughter and this year my four daughters. They could not all go in the exhibit hall at the same time but the oldest 2 came for the first 3 days with the younger 2 finishing up Friday with me during the last hour. They met plenty of wonderful booksellers and were able to see and understand a little more about what I do for the week while I am away from home. I think they had fun. They also got to enjoy St. Charles and each night at dinner told stories of what they had done during the day. They swam every day but they also went to a Japanese Garden, the History Museum and played putt putt. Evidently at putt putt, in true Cragon fashion, a scene occurred with one of my oldest having to chase a shoe through water along with some other crazy happenings. I'm told that upon entering Panera for lunch, my oldest saw that several of the people from the exhibit were there and immediately turned to the other 3 and said, "Act right! People mom works with are in here!" Just like mom! We never really care what happens inside the house or hotel, well to a point, but once they step outside in public, they need to act nice and treat each other with a little respect. And, for the most part they do. It was good to see that I've passed on a little of that understanding and it was great to see them enjoy the rows of books and people who work in the book and gift industry. What a wonderful week! May all our children at some point learn to love the gift of books, the gift of the story, the fresh smell of the paper and the feel of the cover and the wonder of all that lies within those pages.

Same Words, Different Time

2011-05-26T06:27:00.003-05:00

The other morning my youngest asked me what I was doing and I simply said, "Reading the Scripture for the day." "You read that all the time. Don't you know what it says? It's the same stories over and over." "Yes, but each time I get something different from the stories because either I find a line I never paid attention to or I am in a different time of my life." "Oh."
After I thought about our conversation, I realized that sometimes I do just skip past the parts I have read day after day, year after year. I realized that I do need to practice what I preach because I am in a different time in my life. I have often heard parts of a story that I have never heard before. I do need to pay attention. I do need to listen to what He is speaking to me at the time in my life that He wants me to hear the message.
Our lives are a journey. Every day, every hour is different then the one before and we need to pay attention to the details, to the Words, to what we may feel we have heard every day of our lives, every week, each year. There are messages we are given that we could miss. There are opportunities put before us that we pass by. There are people put in our path that we ignore. We may think we know exactly what to expect and yet if we really pay attention, something new may be placed right in front of us. Every day is a new day. The same words will mean something completely different in a different time or place. Stay open. Read and reread. Journey.

Responsibility

2011-05-21T06:43:00.007-05:00

This week I have been in Chicago with my husband meeting with vendors gathering product ideas to put into our church goods catalog for the 2011-2012 advertising year. I admit that I usually go home on Tuesday or Wednesday but decided to stay the full week because my two oldest daughters were home from college and could take care of the kids. Well, as usual, they came through with flying colors getting siblings to school and back and taking care of laundry and lunches and going out to dinner with my father. They helped out at the bookstore while the younger ones were in school and even got one to a 6 a.m. field trip on time. Now granted, when I got home there were plenty of stories and concerns and the girls were exhausted but they handled their responsibilities beautifully. I find it important in this world not just to give people responsibilities but also to let them handle those responsibilities, to actually take care of things. This, I believe, is what helps people to grow and to bond. If we as moms and dads and teachers and leaders are constantly doing for others and taking control of every situation, we are doing no favors for the continuation of a world or a home or a workplace of fully functioning adults. If they fall, they will learn. If they make mistakes, it can be fixed. If we do it for them, we never get rest. Our kids are amazing when they are allowed to prove themselves. I'm proud of my kids and I am glad to be home.

Culture of Vocation

2011-05-16T12:44:00.005-05:00

"

As Fr. began his homily, it was obvious that we would hear about the need to pray for vocations to the priesthood and religious life. It was obvious that we would be asked to consider anyone we knew who may be a good candidate for either and we would be asked to say, "Ya know, I think you would be a great priest or sister. Think about it." What wasn't so obvious was the challenge that came to make our home a culture of vocation. What a wonderful challenge we received to think about what our calling truly is, what God wants us to be and to do and to become. And furthermore, as our home becomes a culture of vocation, we could spread the concept and our community could become a culture of vocation and our city and our country and our world. Think about it. Wouldn't it be awesome if we all prayed to discover and to follow what we truly were created to do and to be and to become? So, at breakfast, as my husband and I prepared to leave our 6 children alone and travel to Chicago for the week to put together our church goods catalog for the upcoming season, I challenged my children to think about what Fr. left us with and to consider that they may just be called to be the best sisters and best brothers to one another. They may be called to be good students and good grandchildren. They may be called for so much more but for this week it could be this simple. For the rest of their lives, it would take much more prayer and contemplation. As my oldest goes for another interview after taking the younger ones to grade school and as my next oldest takes her brother to high school, I pray we become a culture of vocation. I pray they think about the words they heard on Sunday.

"Faithful to the Gift"

2011-05-14T07:15:00.006-05:00

I ventured back in my Magnificat this morning to read a prayer I had marked as important to hear again and again. "O Lord our God, you chose to build your Church upon the faith of ordinary people made extraordinary by the companionship of your Son and the power of the Holy Spirit. Keep us faithful to the gift which they received with such joy and handed on at such cost, through Christ our Lord. Amen."
Again yesterday, I enjoyed a visit from a past neighbor. Like 40 years ago, past. The last time he visited, around Christmas, we talked about the writing life. He now writes columns for our Catholic Register and is looking for another place to write, to evangelize, to pass on "the gift". He has a way of getting me pumped up to continue my own writing and he tends to wake me up to my daily opportunities. So many times I sit lax with the gift that has been handed down to me, not just from my parents, but from the "ordinary people made extraordinary". I have the most blatant opportunities day in and day out not just to offer others the gifts that would bring them closer to Christ but to listen to those who enter and who bring Christ to me. Yikes woman! Wake up. Daily. Be aware. This kid from my past cannot be expected to visit daily and remind me to be faithful to the gift. My parents are not going to always be around to sign me up for the next retreat to keep me filled with the Spirit that I have been handed down. The apostles received with joy and handed on at cost the power and the companionship. Lord, keep me faithful to the gift, daily, in my home and in my work. I am so fortunate to work in a place with opportunities not just to give but to be open to receive. I am so fortunate to be in a family of ordinary people who can be so extraordinary. The world is full of ordinary and extraordinary opportunities. All that has been handed down is right in front of us as power and as companionship. Together may we all be faithful to the gift.

My Oldest Daughter

2011-05-05T05:44:00.004-05:00

My daughter is graduating from Spring Hill College in Mobile, Al this weekend and I have all those mixed mom emotions of being proud of all she has accomplished and being sad that she will be moving along in her own life and not needing us quite as much. I know, I know, she will need us for a while but this is just the beginning of her making a new life for herself. I'd like to just tell the moms out there who have heard it said or have said it themselves that, "Life goes by so quickly" or "Wow, you blink and they are out of grade school" or "High school seemed to fly by", college is truly the fastest four years I have ever experienced. I guess it's because we may not see them as much and in some cases only at Christmas and Easter break. Beth and I seemed to keep up with one another and I feel like she came home for a lot of the family stuff but I'm tellin' ya, it's quick. I can't say how many times I had to bite my lip when she would decide to go with friends for Spring Break or her internship kept her from a long weekend visit. But, her father and I are so proud of her graduating with honors and we are so proud of all she has done in her internships, heightening awareness for the two non-profits where she worked. She is one dedicated woman and although we know that she will not want to "need" us, we want her to know that we will always be excited for her to come home, just like my parents seemed to be as each of us moved back and forth through their house for all those years. (My parents even had some move in that were not ours from the start). Anyway - Congratulations Beth! You are awesome.

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T10:07:00.009-05:00

A couple of weeks ago our deacon told this story: Phillip was a special child and as he entered into his new class, the other children began to realize and to understand more about Phillip and treated him with kindness. As the year went along and Easter approached, the children were given "Hanes" hosiery plastic "eggs" and asked to go outside and put something that reminded them of Easter or New Life into the egg. As all the children gathered back into the classroom, each opened their eggs and shared their discoveries. Some released butterflies while others shared flowers and green grass. Phillip opened his egg and there was nothing inside. The children did not understand and one said that for Phillip to have nothing was dumb. But Phillip said, "No it is not dumb. This egg is like the tomb where Jesus was and it is empty."
As Deacon Marty shared the story, my girls looked at me because they knew there would be tears. My brother Phillip died at the young age of 33, he would have been 53 today, and his son Phillip at, I think, age 11. Without Easter, without the empty tomb, without the belief in the Resurrection, I would stand in that church as empty as Phillip's large plastic egg. My tears were tears of joy in belief of the Resurrection. Tears of joy that my brother and my nephew have a share in so much more. We are all fortunate on this Easter Sunday to believe in the New Life that Jesus gave and in the possibility that lies ahead for us of so much more. Phillip's idea may have needed some explanation, just as my brothers' always did, and he may have been a little different from the others in the class, but his discovery leads us all to think a little more, to go a little deeper. May this Easter be one filled with the joy of His Resurrection and the joy of knowing there is so much more because of that empty tomb.

Pay Attention Guys!

2011-04-19T05:53:00.004-05:00

The readings leading up to this Holy Week are full of messages and even though we've heard them all our lives, we can still get something new every year. Or, we can just get something period. Now, I'm sorry, but come on guys! Pay attention! Jesus clearly tells Peter that the one who will betray Him is the one He hands the morsel after dipping. He hands it to Judas and they still just sit there. Get up and get him! He's going to have Jesus arrested and crucified. Wake up! And Peter, didn't you hear Him say you would deny Him? Then, why in the heck did you go ahead and do it?
All sounds terribly familiar to me today. I have not only heard the Gospel read every year but I have played the part of those not paying attention week after week, month after month. I can actually hear Him ask me to pay attention. I can clearly hear Him say that I will deny Him and He will forgive me anyway. I'm walking through this life so selfishly involved with my own needs that I cannot even pay attention to His words, His instructions, His simple explanations. The one He hands the morsel to. When the cock crows. It will all be clear after the Resurrection. And our eyes will be open. All these things He tells us and yet, we still have to pay attention.
As this Holy Week unfolds, I pray I can simply pay attention to His words, His silence, His message. It will all be made clear.

Throwing Stones

2011-04-14T12:56:00.005-05:00

"So they picked up stones to throw at him; but Jesus hid and went out of the temple area."
Why do people throw things at one another? Today, as Jesus is merely speaking the truth, those who could not understand decide to throw stones at him. Isn't that usually the problem? We tend to throw stones when we cannot understand what someone is trying to say or when we just do not understand them at all. Of course, back then, it was truly a stoning but even today we hear of the deaths of others over jealousy or misunderstanding. We hear gossip and rumors that kill someone's reputation and lowers their self-esteem. As we all know, once the first stone is released it seems that things just go from bad to worse. (in our homes, our neighborhoods, our schools, our workplaces, our country and our world)

Here is my recent experience with what damage a stone can do. Months ago, my van windshield was hit by a stone and a tiny hole appeared in the glass. No big. I've had those holes repaired before. The guy came right to the store and in the hottest part of the day, plopped his machine down on my window and then came into the store. "Ma'am. The crack in your window ran. (aka,I made matters worse)" "What do you mean ran?" "Well, sometimes if the windshield is hot (tempers flare), the machine we put on the glass can make the tiny hole run(problems get bigger)." "Then why in the world would you try it if it was too hot(should of waited for things to cool down)." Silence. And then, "You can pay a $50 deductible and we can replace the windshield with no problem.(I can fix the mess I made)" Hmmm. Now, I'm angry. "No thank you. You've done enough.(I think I'll rely on someone else)" I drove with that crack in my windshield for months(chip on my shoulder, anger in my heart, however you want to read it). Now, I'm ready to sale my van and I call the insurance agent for a different company recommendation. The man came to the store yesterday after rescheduling 3 times. He was very nice. Took care of everything, took the $50, cleaned my new windshield and locked the doors because we were busy in the store and he didn't want to bother me. I finally went to leave work at 7:30 last night. Dead battery. My cell phone malfunctioned all day and even though it was fully charged would not work. No one would answer our home phone. That's normal. I only know my daughter's cell phone # who is in college at Spring Hill in Mobile, Al. So, you got it, I called Alabama to get her to call Nashville and ask my husband to come jump my car because the windshield guy left the interior light on while fixing the glass that was split by another windshield guy who didn't see anything so big deal about putting his machine on my hot windshield with the tiny hole caused by getting it hit by a stone. Should have had that original hole repaired in the cool, hidden setting of my carport or garage.

Throwing stones cause many more problems than people realize. It's obviously best to slip away before the first one is thrown. The next time we're thinking about casting one, we may want to think seriously about the possible effects.

A Wedding in the Family

2011-04-07T17:43:00.005-05:00

I'm very excited this weekend because almost all of my family is coming in for my niece's wedding Saturday. I love when our family gets together. Handed down through the years, we love to play games and tell stories. I can still picture my grandmother pulling out the Dominoes and the Scrabble board and I can hear my uncles telling their wild tales. It truly is the simplicity of it all that makes us who we are today. We have always been able to entertain one another. We just love being together. Now it is almost impossible to get us all into one room so if you don't want to miss anything you have to wander from group to group and hope for the best. Or, you can just stay in the center of the activity and hope the people and the stories will eventually drift back through to you. From not quite 1 to not quite 80, we all have a part in our story. We have been handed down from our parents who are grandparents and great-grandparents and in-laws the blessings of a good time and a good life. We have been taught that when the dust clears and all is settled, we will always have one another and that is so true. May God bless this nice young man and his family. May God bless this weekend and all who have worked so hard to put it together. And, may we share the true meaning of family, our basic, simple love for one another with all who gather.

Poverty

2011-04-04T18:08:00.005-05:00

As I read my friend's post over at Road Beyond 50 about Lent and sitting fruitless in the "writing" department, I realize that I too have been quite fruitless. After finishing my 365 meditation and sending it off and receiving it back from editing, I sit. After receiving a new list of Saints from Italy to write biographies for, I sit. After being asked to work on a youth prayer book, I sit. I sit in what I have found today to be poverty. As I read my meditation from Magnificat this morning, I believe I have been led to a state of poverty so that I will pray. I believe that I have been emptied of the words and the desire for the words so that I will turn to the very One who is responsible for what needs to be said, what needs to be heard. I believe that I am reminded that these words have been given and any acknowledgment should go back to the giver. And, as the meditation goes, "Thus, the poverty which before crushed us now becomes, through prayer, a source of wealth, by which we gain possession of the heart of God." I believe I am to wait in prayer, aware of my true need of God, of His love, of His gifts, of His words. My friend made me aware of my own fruitlessness and in God's mercy He has made me aware of my true poverty and His desire to give me all I need. Don't we just love the 40 days of lent!

April Fool's Day

2011-04-02T05:44:00.004-05:00

No April Fool jokes on me yesterday. Not even by my children. I remember the years I would just wait for that day.
April Fool's Day 1976. In high school, a friend of mine brought to school a prop from her mother's theater group that had a hollowed out space in the center with a lighter hidden inside. What a great hand-me-down from a parent... hmmm. Anyway, I thought it was awesome and I was all in for lighting that baby up in English class. I figured it would be a great joke in an all girl private high school run by Dominican Sisters. (No brain) My friend was in no way gonna do it but I thought it would be a great April Fool's joke. All were seated and class began when I ran my finger down that lighter and struck up a flame. I started yappin and flappin that book around as if it were ablaze and good ole Ms. Orth just kept right on with her class. Some old English stuff "Wan in abril in the surest sota the root of march erst something something rota". Okay well that's what it sounded like. What! No reaction. Just class. I squirmed down in my seat and put the prop away and "saw her after class". Bummer. Guess the joke was on me.
Anyway, so my point is this. God Bless all those teachers who had to put up with my antics for all those years, especially on April Fool's Day. I'm sure there is a special place in Heaven for each and every one.
Anyone have any good jokes played on them yesterday?

The Color of Hair

2011-03-31T10:41:00.006-05:00

This morning was my six week check-up with the hair doctor. In plain words, I had to get a little color. Being the over 50 mom of a 9 year old, I feel I need to look younger than I tend to look and thus a little lighter color to my blond turned dark hair helps quite a bit. Handed down straight from my mom, covering the gray began like this:
My mom and her friend Peg did their first "Ms Clairol" in our kitchen on Vaughn's Gap many, many years ago. My mom tells that she called her mother right away and told her what they had done because she was so excited. My grandmother's reaction, "Betcha look like a couple of street walkers!" I have laughed about that many times over with my mom since she told me the story. And then, the big day!
I had just given birth to my 5th child and my mother decided it was time for me to "lighten up" the old roots. She promised she could handle it with a little help from, who else, "Ms Clairol" and handle it she did. Now, anyone who knows what can happen when hormones are all over the place and dye is applied to hair already has an inkling to the outcome. Let's just say, from the words of my grandmother, "Street Walker". The result was a lovely orange tint and a trip to my mom's hair doctor. By the way, the same doc I met with this morning and have gone to since the first mishap.
Hand-me-downs come in many ways but passing on this guru who can make me look a little better amongst the young moms in my daughter's class is by far one of the best treats she has passed along. I know God loves me just the way I am and so do my husband and kids and and parents and co-workers. I know that I don't have to have my hairs done to be a better person, but it sure doesn't hurt to be a little prettied up every now and then just for myself. No orange tints and no street walking today.

Sisters

2011-03-30T06:28:00.006-05:00

One of the greatest gifts God has given me through my parents are my sisters. I hope someday my four girls feel the same way. Whenever I feel completely overworked, they seem to set me straight. Whenever I feel like I want something more or something that someone else has, they put life back in perspective. As we walked through a beautiful, new, incredibly well put together house of one of our kin, I remarked, "Must be nice! I would just love to have something like this where my kids could spread out and be in totally different parts of the house doing their own things." My sister said, "No you wouldn't. What would you do with all this? You'd have to try to keep something this beautiful clean and all these things in the right place and your kids would be lost." She was right. What would I do with something huge and gorgeous? Whenever I complain about all the work I have in front of me with the husband, the children, the house, the store, the writing and the travel, one asks, "What would you let go of?" I think I would like to be free to write in my leisure and play golf a couple of times a week. I think I'd like a secretary. "No you wouldn't. You'd go crazy if you weren't overwhelmed with life. You'd miss all the mess. You'd miss the constant challenge." And you know what, they are right. I think that I want to have everything organized and neat and nice and to a point, I do. But when it comes down to brass tacks, I love the "messiness" of my life. I love all that God challenges me to do and to be. I love all the little things that life hands down to me just because it's life. Now at the time, I may think I want someone else's something, but I guess that is just one of the things sisters are for, to bring me back to reality and to just say, "No you don't." No you don't want what they have. No you don't want to quit. No you don't want to do nothing. No you don't. And again, you know, they are right. All I can say most days is ahhhh! Sisters! How fortunate I am to have two!

St. Jerome on Lazarus

2011-03-24T08:23:00.003-05:00

First and foremost, St. Jerome points out that Lazarus, meaning one who has been helped, has a name and the rich man is not deemed worthy of a name. As they reach their final destinations, God reminds the rich man that He did not ask him to throw away his wealth, but merely to give in alms to Lazarus that which he was going to throw out, the crumbs from his table. Lazarus lay at this man's gate, right in his face. The rich man could not say that he was unable to see Lazarus or that he was unaware of the sores that covered his body. He probably had to step over Lazarus to come and go from his everyday life. St. Jerome makes the point that the magnitude of his suffering should have sparked his utmost compassion. But, it doesn't and the rich man is left to suffer for eternity. God asks us today to show compassion. For the massive poverty and devastation in the world and for the man with a name who sits right in front of us every day, may we all show a tiny bit of compassion, if not from our wealth than at least from our leftovers. God knows, that even the leftovers of those of us who have are enough to make a difference. Even our leftovers. St. Jerome suggests that we not step over the very ones that will win us Heaven.

Ever Completely Miss the Message?

2011-03-23T21:20:00.007-05:00

I was called down to the front of the store to attend to a couple who had come in to ask for money. Passed down from my mother, I obliged. Seems they were $8 short for a place to stay the night and despite the fact that they sold newspapers all day, they did not quite make enough. At least they are trying. They asked us to order a book and much to my surprise were told they'd have to prepay. Not wanting to correct in front of customers, I let the odd "new rule" stand. After the couple left, one employee voiced their opinion loud and clear that they should not be asking for money if they are selling the "papers" and we should turn them in. Why were they ordering a book when they couldn't afford their rent? I couldn't believe all that was occurring. Another piped in that they stand too close to the road while selling anyway. Are you joking? I was angry. My thought was that it was my choice to help them, my money, my hand-me-down to give and I hoped when I fell a little short in my day, I would have someone around to help me. But...I completely missed what God sent. And this is how I discovered it. I talked to the 3rd employee present and said that I couldn't believe the reactions to my tiny bit of aide to this couple. I went farther to say that I might order that book and give it to the girl as a gift. Heck, she wants to read a Christian book. Let's get it to her. And then...the next morning. I headed to morning Mass (example handed down by my parents) and opened my Magnificat magazine (again something my parents use) and the MEDITATION! He didn't send the couple. It was the reaction by the employees that I was supposed to handle. I quote...
"This is my experience as a weak and fragile woman. I know that many times I, too, lost those moments. When I reflected on my life and really saw how often this happened, I said to myself, 'Look at what I lost. How immature I was!' When someone criticizes or reprimands you, and you respond by defending yourself, the other young men in Community say, 'You've missed the boat! What we mean is you've missed the 'boat' of maturity, of self-control, of the capacity to be quiet." Mother Elvira Petrozzi, foundress of Comunita Cenacola
As all can see, I completely missed the challenge, the opportunity. I stewed, I complained and I felt like the little bit I did was criticized as the wrong thing to do. I was wrong not in the giving but in my reaction to the comments. Well pop me in the head. Lord, help me to mature.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T06:03:00.003-05:00

Aye! The wearing of the green, shamrocks, green beer, corn beef and cabbage and blessings abound. A great man was St. Patrick himself. Diligent in his conversion of Ireland coming back over after he had been captured and sold as a slave by the Irish and escaped. He was known for teaching and preaching and forming more missionaries to go and do the same. As I contemplate this day we honor such a hardworking man, I cannot help but think of my grandmother, Rose Reginald Mary Claire Dalton. I've spoken about her before in this same spot and I mention her again today obviously because she's on me Irish side. I have a small frame in my office of the Dalton Family crest and where they came from and where they landed and at the top there is the Motto: Patience is Victorious! I know Patrick must have needed much patience with all the opposition he encountered and all of us who know my father and his brother also know that my grandmother must have had the greatest amount of patience of any woman in Nashville. A strong woman of faith, a brilliant mind, she had to keep a tight rein on those two "imps". I must say that I believe her patience was victorious. Those two boys of hers turned out okay despite their continued antics. She blessed our family with as many blessings as are attributed to St. Patrick himself. Aye! Quite a lady! Quite a Saint! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Don't Judge a Book...And I Know Better

2011-03-10T15:58:00.009-06:00

I'm the first to tell my children that the people we witness in their jobs or in certain situations may be way different than we expect or assume. I watch a basketball coach in the SEC that I cannot stand to watch only because I enjoy watching SEC basketball no matter who's playing. I have a favorite of course, go Vandy, but I enjoy them all. But back to my least favorite coach. I really think of him as just wrong. I feel his team is always teetering on the edge of getting suspended and I feel he just does not make good decisions. He bugs me. Well......bugged -ed -ed me.

A couple of weeks ago a young couple came into the store that I truly admire. I love them as a matter of fact. Love being around them, talking to them, laughing with them and even worrying about them and crying with them. They are just the type that people love to be around because they are genuine. Anyway, to my point. We were talking and out of the blue they shared with me a message this particular coach left on their son's phone while he was battling cancer. Yes, this man took the time to call this boy and talk, not just for a minute, but for many minutes about his situation and another similar situation he had been around and calling back and talking to him, etc. etc. Unfortunately, their son was unable to respond and never got the chance to speak to the coach, but they told me the long-winded, sincere message and how much it meant to him and the rest of their family. Wow. I just openly admitted my judge of the coach instead of the man. Now, oddly enough, I think God set up that incident just to remind me that I have no idea who some of His people are and it's time I either find out or leave them out of the conversation. Who am I to judge that man by the information coming across the news or by watching him on TV? I know better and God had to waste a perfectly good opportunity for me to be a little more compassionate to these awesome people by having to let them set me straight. Again. Wow.

This Lent, for 40 full days, may I keep my mouth closed tight and my eyes wide open and my heart ready to love those You send. May I give more than I receive.

“What do you want me to do for you?”

2011-03-03T09:56:00.013-06:00

Everyday, whether in our homes or our communities or our businesses, we ask someone this very question, "What do you want me to do for you?" We serve and serve and serve, no doubt. Well today (every day for all that matter), we draw the lucky straw because we hear Jesus ask blind Bartimaeus, and therefore us this very question, "What do we want Him to do for us?" What are our wants and our fears? Go ahead. Tell Him. He wants us to speak. He is listening. Ask.
Well, if He's asking: I have one graduating from college and I pray she finds a job that she loves. I have 2 signing up for classes for next year and I pray they make the right decisions and get the classes that will help them in this world. I have one who just turned 13 and I pray she softens her ways. I have an intense little eleven year old and I pray he chills. And I can just pray, pray, pray for this nine year old that reminds me of me. May God hold them all in the palm of His hand. Bless my husband and send customers to our bookstore and watch over my parents and my siblings and our church and our country. And as for me, I'd like all of the above to work so that I have no stress and can sit and write my little heart out.
Now, a warning, as always, we must be careful what we wish for because He will give us what we need, not necessarily what we think we need. Look at St. Katharine Drexel today who went to Rome to ask the Pope to send more missionaries to help the Indians and the poor in her state and Jesus chose her to give away all she had, evidently millions, and start missions and schools in 16 states. Eeek.
Seriously, today, He's asking. What do we want Him to do for us? Answer Him.

Needle's Eye

2011-02-28T05:51:00.006-06:00

I know, I know, I'm not posting until I finish my work but I had to share my thought about the Scripture reading for today.
“Children, how hard it is to enter the Kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for one who is rich to enter the Kingdom of God.”

Now I don't know about the rest of you, but ever since I edged toward 50 and since it's arrival, I cannot see anything up close. And I mean nothing. The eye of a needle! I can't even see the eye much less pass through it. With the rapid growth of my boys, I have been in continual hemming mode. Buying pants long and tacking up for a month or two than letting them back down. I don't like to sew much and I cannot stand to thread the needle, well, because, I cannot even see that tiny little hole much less slip thread through it. And whoever invented what I found out was called a needle threader (I thought there might be a person it was named after like Isaac's eye wire thingy or something) is brilliant.
My point here is that I'm guessing I need to get rid of all the stuff in this world that keeps me from God because I cannot even see that needle's eye much less get a needle threader and pull a camel through. Tight squeeze, no doubt.

Lord, give me all the little tools in life to help me get closer to You.

I am Working, Just not on this Blog

2011-02-18T06:28:00.005-06:00

An entire week without blogging is somewhat driving me crazy but I am finally finishing my next book and have been reading and writing the last draft to send to my editor. Ugh! My husband said last night that it's so nice to be around someone who always has a laptop in her lap, dragging around her Bible and her papers from one room to the next trying to act like she's listening to him. (or something like that. I'm not sure all he said because I was reading) So, my blog has really suffered this week and after this book is done I have to work on many more Saint biographies and finish up a youth prayer book I have been scooting around my office. But, hopefully I can go back to my routine of writing before and after work for a hour or so and not halfway through the night. I'm a little stressed. Okay, I'm crazed right now, but it's almost over. Hope to have something good to share here next week.
In the meantime, you should read this post about the confession phone app. It's hilarious.
Ask Sister Mary Martha: Swiss Army Phone

Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes

2011-02-11T16:35:00.023-06:00

On June 25, 1985, I stood on top of the Basilica in Lourdes, France as thousands of people prayed and sang together, each in their own language. The rosary was prayed in about six different languages. Everyone raised their torches during certain parts. Small children went by in wheelchairs and strollers, as well as the young and the old. The number of volunteers was unreal, especially girls no older than me. Somehow, standing on top of the Basilica, watching the amazing faith of all those thousands of people, changed me. I could never explain how or why, but I was one of “those who are present as eyewitnesses of one of those rare but terribly real occurrences in which the omnipotence of God strikes through the shadows of time and space and bind up and heal the broken bodies of men.” Catholic Weekly January 1958

I was one of those present when the power of God shines forth where His Mother is honored and venerated. I was strengthened in faith, proud to be Catholic and to this day strive to follow the messages of prayer, repentance and fasting.

From my website: juliecragon.com

The Joy of Writing

2011-02-09T19:02:00.010-06:00

I sat yesterday at lunch with our local Catholic Book Club, Colonna, as Mary Margaret Lambert spoke on her life as a writer. Her wonderful tale of waiting for her writing life to develop around her commitment to her family was moving. She writes a column for our Catholic Newspaper, The Tennessee Register, and was introduced by our president as the dessert of the newspaper, the part everyone saves for last because it leaves us wanting more and because it's rich with flavor. This time spent with this writer made me realize that I rarely write about my writing life. And so, as if you asked...
I generally write around raising children and working full time at St. Mary's Bookstore. I love to write when I'm writing and I love to be with my children when I'm with them and I love buying for and working in the bookstore when I'm there. I wake at 5 a.m., start coffee and write. At 6:20, I wake the first of the four at home and start getting them off to school. I'm at St. Mary's by 8:15 and have started writing in the quiet of the first floor balcony until other workers arrive. At 2:30, I go home and meet my children for a snack and homework and athletic practices. I write between their needs. Dinner and bedtime and a few more words, then I sleep...well, 'til 5 a.m., when my day begins again.
I am writing a 365 day meditation for Our Sunday Visitor right now and am so, so, so close to finishing. The release date is 2012. I have a gift book on Christ, like the Illustrated Mary and Saints books, coming out this summer, I hope. I am writing many, many more lives of Saints stories to be sent to Italy and published in pamphlets for Bonella. And, my next big project, I hope, is a prayer book for youth.
I love to write and I love to be with my family and I love to work at the bookstore and be around my wonderful coworkers and customers. (Not necessarily in that order.) I started to title this, The Joy of Writing and Parenting and Buying and Selling and... I write, long hand, what I believe is being asked of me to write. I love the Catholic Faith and want to spread the fascinating stories of the Saints and of Mary and of the Bible and of His love and of our lives with Him in this hectic world. And, I want to grow up to be just like these great women who have been writing longer than I have and who speak of The Joy of Writing.
At the end of her talk, Mary Margaret left us with a quote from Erma Bombeck that I absolutely love:
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”

A Visit to Remember

2011-02-06T10:34:00.016-06:00

After my father-in-law died this past week, we heard story upon story about him from his childhood up until literally the weekend before he died. Harlen would love this because he was a man who loved to hear, read about and tell long stories about himself as well as others in his life. This one from his long time friend touched me as important for many of us.

On the 18th of January, a long time friend of my father-in-law had planned to meet with him for lunch. It happened to snow that day and yet the friend related that the last time he canceled an appointment with someone, the person died so he was going to make the meeting one way or the other. The friend said he walked to my father-in-law's place, 25 minutes in the snow and cold, to have lunch and to visit. He talked about how happy Harlen was in his new place and how proud he was of his apartment. He talked about how well he looked and how incredible the lunch menu was that they offered. He talked about his life.

On this day, he shared how fortunate he felt to have kept the appointment despite the weather. He truly had a visit to remember.
This made me stop and think how many times I've put things off, missed an opportunity or avoided an encounter. This made me stop and wonder what our world, our city, our neighborhood would be like if we each took the time to make the effort. This will make me think. This will help me to remember.

God-instance

2011-02-03T08:37:00.020-06:00

I had a customer yesterday who came to the counter with a picture we had just received this week and I expressed to her how difficult this one picture of Christ is to find. She shared that it was a gift for her father's birthday and she felt it Divine Providence that she happened upon it because it was one of his favorite images and she had not seen it in years.
Made me think. Divine Providence. Often I share a God-incidence. Here's mine from yesterday.
As we sat at the funeral home to plan for the visitation, memorial and burial of my father-in-law, we were slightly up in the air as to who could speak at his memorial. Having the bookstore, my husband and I mentioned that we could get just about anyone they would be comfortable with in the way of a priest, deacon, sister, minister or friend. They left it pretty much up to us. I suggested a few people to my husband and he said he'd think about it. We finished up with the wonderful man at Marshall Donnelly and said goodbye to one another. As my husband and I went to leave, the funeral director, a friend of mine, came and hugged me and told us that Marty was asking about us. He is a deacon in our Parish. I flipped my head toward my husband and he smiled. I said, "Maybe that's a sign?" As we walked to our cars, I mentioned that Marty was head of the Cursillo in Nashville and had worked with the Methodist Cursillo as well. I find him very ecumenical. Harlen would like him too. My father-in-law raised the kids in the Methodist Church. My husband agreed and when I got back to work I tried to call Marty several times with no luck. I had almost decided to try another person when a buzz came across my phone from the intercom in the front of the store. "Margo and Marty are here to see you about a project they need you to work on." "Send them up." They had brought in some pictures that had been water damaged and asked if I could find some replacements. Of course, no problem. As we finished, I asked, "Did you get my messages on your home and your cell phones?" "No." And so I asked him to speak at the memorial for my father-in-law and although he had a slight conflict, he answered, "I can do that. No problem. I'll be there. Have the children send me what they would like me to say and I'll tie it to a Reading from Scripture." Perfect. "Thank you so much." Divine Providence
I wrote up some ideas and mentioned the Reading from Scripture idea Marty had and even though I wanted to suggest Corinthians 13, decided to let the girls give their own suggestions. Awake at 1:30 a.m. and unable to sleep, I checked my email to find one of the girl's info about their dad. It was beautiful and the Scripture verse chosen...Corinthians 13. God-instance.

Harlen

2011-02-02T05:44:00.005-06:00

“Now, Master, you may let your servant go in peace, according to your word,"

What a strange day yesterday. My husband and I went through the regular motions of getting 4 children to 2 schools and getting ourselves to work. I was talking to a customer on the phone and put her on hold to get an answer for her and my husband walked up and said, "My dad just died." I really thought I heard him wrong. He wore just a blank stare. I immediately got off the phone with the customer, grabbed my coat and we left for The Cumberland, a fabulous assisted living facility in Burton Hills.

We were told that at 8:30 when the cleaning lady went to change his sheets, he asked to sleep a little longer. At 10:30, he had died. Although he had diabetes since his childhood and had developed congestion heart failure and was blind in one eye and partially blind in another, he was living to the fullest and as happy as we'd seen him since his wife, Nancy, died 5 years ago. Since he had moved to The Cumberland, he had met many of the people and participated in almost every event. He looked and acted like a new person. One of the directors came up and told us that she had just taken many pictures of him because he had agreed to be a spokesperson for them. Sounds just like him.

Harlen loved to tell stories and had a southern drawl that could make a story last for half a dinner. He was a true gentleman. He loved his children and his grandchildren and loved spending time around people. He was a native Nashvillian, a MBA and Vanderbilt grad and spent his professional career as a banker. He always had a kind word and a smile. He will be missed no doubt.

I find the blessing of the child Jesus by Simeon so appropriate to wake to this morning. He has now let his servant go in peace. May his soul rest and may his daughters and son find comfort in faith and family and friends.

Give it all Away

2011-01-29T06:41:00.003-06:00

Today with Brother Juniper's Feast Day, we read about a Franciscan in the time of St. Francis and St. Clare who was known "in the house" for giving everything away. He simply saw the needs of others and attended to them in every way possible. Today's readings are all about Faith. Faith in our God who will give us all we need. Faith in our God who will provide when we ourselves give to those in need. Why am I always so worried about how much to give? Can I not see that the more I give the more I receive? Can I not realize that no matter how little I'm left with, God will provide? True Faith. That's what Brother Juniper's life was all about. He did not worry about what would be done with what he gave or if those he gave to would be back for more. He did not worry about the consequences on this earth by his giving but rather the consequences if he did not give in abundance. As Abraham, as Brother Juniper, may we learn to have the faith to go the distance. May we have the faith to give, to follow, to tend, to love, completely. No holding back.

Roy

2011-01-27T09:45:00.007-06:00

Saturday I'm in the basement of the bookstore receiving items in for the upcoming Communion, Confirmation, RCIA, Lent, Easter season and I could see Roy coming through the parking lot. Roy is a regular. I remember that I actually have some cash for a change and go to my purse and put some in anticipating Roy's request. I go down front and meet Roy as he enters the store. "What's up?" "Hey, come here. Let me ask you something. Can you give me...." I reach in my pocket and hand him some money at which he scowls. "Roy, that's plenty to get you a sandwich and a drink or fries or whatever you like." "I wanted to go across and get some chicken." "Well, that's enough for a snack meal." Evidently not. He was not happy but left mumbling something and as usual I let him irritate me. Soooo. In he walks yesterday and again, "What's up?" "How's Allen?" "He's good. Thanks." "How's the children?" "All good." "Do you have some candles you can give me?" "Sure, no problem." I go downstairs and grab a plastic bag and put about 8 beeswax altar candles, some used, in the bag and walk up and hand them to Roy. "Don't you have more?" Again, I find myself irritated but I go get him about 12 more and put them in his bag. "Thank ya." "You're welcome."
Now, why is it that I can let a simple old street guy bother me with his simple requests? I know when I see him that I will never give him enough and yet his reaction still irritates me. I guess I should be more generous on the front end, you know, as if I'll never see him again. My attitude sort of blows the whole "child of God", "face of Christ", "love one another", "do unto others", "widows mite", etc etc thing. I hope my next opportunity has a better result. What would you do?

Pope to Catholics online: It's not just about hits

2011-01-26T05:48:00.006-06:00

My brother-in-law sent me this article yesterday and I realize I'm slightly behind by posting it today but I find it interesting. Kind words. Kind words. Kinds words. Words that we write, that we publish can make a huge impact on people's lives. I am caught by the words sensitive and respectful. In the words we use in our writing and in speaking to one another, we are called to be sensitive and respectful. I've always thought that if something I wrote could make a difference in one person's life, then it is all worthwhile. But I have to remember that our words can also make a negative impact. Kindness, sensitivity, respect. Today. With each and every word.

Jan 24, 8:05 AM (ET)

By NICOLE WINFIELD
VATICAN CITY (AP) - Pope Benedict XVI told Catholic bloggers and Facebook and YouTube users Monday to be respectful of others when spreading the Gospel online and not to see their ultimate goal as getting as many online hits as possible.

Echoing concerns in the U.S. about the need to root out online vitriol, Benedict called for the faithful to adopt a "Christian style presence" online that is responsible, honest and discreet

"We must be aware that the truth which we long to share does not derive its worth from its 'popularity' or from the amount of attention it receives," Benedict wrote in his annual message for the church's World Day of Social Communications.

"The proclamation of the Gospel requires a communication which is at once respectful and sensitive."

Benedict didn't name names, but the head of the Vatican's social communications office, Archbishop Claudio Celli, said it was certainly correct to direct the pope's exhortation to some conservative Catholic blogs, YouTube channels and sites which, with some vehemence, criticize bishops, public officials and policies they consider not Catholic enough.

"The risk is there, there's no doubt," Celli said in response to a question. He confirmed that the Pontifical Council for Social Communications was working on a set of guidelines with recommendations for appropriate style and behavior for Catholics online.

"I don't love such things, but I think we can define some points of reference for behavior," he said, adding that he hoped such a document would come out as soon as possible.

The Vatican's concern comes at a time when incendiary rhetoric - in the media and online - has come under increasing fire; even U.S. President Barack Obama has urged greater civility in political discourse following the attempted assassination of a U.S. congresswoman.

In his message, Benedict echoed many of the same themes he has voiced in years past about the benefits and dangers of the digital age, saying social networks are a wonderful way to build relationships and community. But he warned against replacing real friendships with virtual ones and warned against the temptation to create artificial public profiles rather than authentic ones.

"There exists a Christian way of communication which is honest and open, responsible and respectful of others," he wrote. "To proclaim the Gospel through the new media means not only to insert expressly religious content into different media platforms, but also to witness consistently, in one's own digital profile and in the way one communicates choices, preference and judgments that are fully consistent with the Gospel."

The 83-year-old Benedict is no techno wizard: He writes longhand and has admitted to a certain lack of Internet savvy within the Vatican.

But under Benedict, the Holy See has greatly increased its presence online: It has a dedicated YouTube channel, and its Pope2You.net portal gives news on the pontiff's trips and speeches and features I-Phone and Facebook applications that allow users to send postcards with photos of Benedict and excerpts from his messages to their friends.

Celli said the Holy See was working on a new multimedia portal that would be the point of reference for the whole Vatican that he hoped would be operational by Easter. It would start out in English and Italian, with other languages added later.

Currently, the Vatican website has links to the Vatican newspaper, the Vatican Museums and other Vatican departments, but it's clunky and out of date.http://www.vatican.va

Celli acknowledged that the pope's annual message - which is full of technical jargon - is not his alone. Celli's office prepares a draft and the pope then makes changes. Celli said he didn't know if Benedict had ever been on Facebook, but said he expected one of his aides had probably shown him around.

An Adventure, Work to do and a Stomach Ache

2011-01-21T08:16:00.013-06:00

My two sisters and I ventured down to Naples to load furniture from my parents' condo and bring it back to our houses and as usual being around those two I picked up a few lessons that can be stored and reused. My daughter drove Donna and I to the airport at 4 a.m. to catch our 5:30 flight. We arrived in plenty of time and boarded the plane without a glitch. On board we learned that we were waiting for a signature on some equipment check and would have a slight delay but should make most of the connecting flights. Fifteen minutes later and still waiting, 4 or 5 passengers deplaned to try other flights. Twenty-five minutes later we went on to Atlanta and hustled off the plane. I was a little worried we may miss our connection. We walked quickly and without hesitation to our flight where my sister Jeanne was standing outside at the door yelling "Here they come. Don't worry sisters, I had them hold the plane." The girl at the desk said the door would close in 3 minutes and we must get on now so off we went to find our seats. Thank goodness for the rest of the plane, we did not have seats together.
After arriving and talking with our parents for awhile, we discovered that our father had already ordered a truck and it would be available Monday along with two guys who would help us load. The Penske was a 17ft truck with 2 seats. As we drove around Naples, we saw a truck that my sister thought may be like the one we would drive. I was worried. It was huge. So, after dinner we went and viewed the truck we would probably be using. Not as big but still only 2 seats. Oh, so these girls say they can just put a lawn chair between the seats and strap across with a rope. I think they're crazy so I offer to rent a small van and follow or better yet get a plane ticket and meet them in Atlanta. We decided that we only needed a 14ft truck but 3 seats so we had Donna call around. She ended up getting the deposit back on the Penske and getting a UHaul with 3 seats and a smaller rear.
As we went to pick up the UHaul on Monday, I voiced that this entire trip had given me a stomach ache. My sister Jeanne thought it was one huge adventure and Donna was on to do the work that needed done.
And so the story goes. Everything we wanted and more was loaded in that UHaul without a space to spare. We went for a nice dinner, rose the next morning early and headed out. Jeanne on her adventure, Donna with a job to complete and me a little worried that we could pull this whole thing off. But, we did and it went smoother than we ever dreamed possible. When we got to Atlanta, my nephew and a friend were waiting. I backed that rig right up the driveway to his garage and it was half unloaded in no time. Donna and I said goodbye to the adventure and headed on. Up and over Monteagle and on to Nashville, unloaded the next day and returned to UHaul on Thursday. Job complete. And, hey, I have no more worries. As a matter of fact, I got pretty good at driving that baby and after I learned to deal with the trip as an adventure and a job, I had some fun.
Come to think of it, those 2 sisters of mine bring out the best in the times we spend together. There seems to always be some sort of adventure and some sort of work to be done. And, a little like our life together, when it comes down to it, it's always fun.

Three Girls and a Truck

2011-01-17T07:17:00.005-06:00

My two sisters and I have flown down to Naples,FL this weekend to pack furniture from a condo my parents have sold and load a U-Haul and drive it back to Atlanta and to Nashville. I have to admit, my dad had done most of the work before we got here so we have had plenty of time to get in a little shopping and time on the beach. How is it that we can leave temperatures in the 'teens and fly the friendly skies for only a few hours, remaining in the U.S., and have to wonder the following day if we may get sunburn while we walk the beach? It is beautiful down here and every time we venture down, we wonder why we don't come down more often. Oh yes! Maybe it's because we have 15 children and 7 jobs (outside the home) between the 3 of us.
Today we pick up our truck and load and prepare for the long road back home. We will miss our parents and I know they will miss us. As always, we have had a great time together laughing ourselves silly. I came down to bring back beds to our house and as usual I get to bring back many great stories of good times together with my sisters, my mom and my dad. I can't tell you how many people commented on how lucky my dad was to be with four women. And, we're lucky to be with him. And may I add, I'm lucky to have a husband and kids who make it possible for me to leave Nashville.
The drive will be a trip, I'm sure. I'll follow up here after some recovery time. But in the meantime, I have to enjoy one more day of sunshine! Thank you mom and dad.

The Way We Remember

2011-01-13T08:00:00.007-06:00

Before Christmas, my niece emailed and asked if I could gather my brothers and sisters and write some stories about her father from his short life. It is the 2oth anniversary of his death and she was only 2 when he died so she did not know him at all. I immediately forwarded that email to my older sister who in turn compiled stories from our family and some of his college buddies. It was great. As I watched her and her mom sitting together on Christmas Day, laughing and crying, I realized just how great it was for my sister to actually go the extra mile and compile those memories into a small booklet. There was one story in particular that 3 of his siblings wrote that had 3 completely different angles and yet all contained the same message. It's funny how we hear the same stories and yet translate them differently.

As I read William Mills book, A 30 Day Retreat, over December, I was reading the chapter for Day 22 and he expresses the same idea about the four Gospel writers. "The gospels are stories of faith. Each Gospel contains the entire truth about Jesus the Son of God, but in slightly different ways." "Matthew, Mark, Luke and John provide us with four witnesses to the preaching, teaching and miracles of Jesus Christ. Likewise, the four Gospels contain various teachings, sermons and healings, yet they all emphasize one important fact: our discipleship in Jesus' name."

Maybe this helps me to realize that it is not so much about the story itself as the the lesson from the story. The way we remember, the way we read, may all be different but in the end, when the last chapter comes to a close, it's all about the message.

Memories

2011-01-10T09:20:00.003-06:00

I just love the old times. Someone posted my 7th grade basketball team on facebook and we have all had fun making comments. Another girl posted a question about a business in our area that has since been closed, and that started a whirl of memories. This is partially why I started this blog, to remember all the good things that have been passed down to me whether from my childhood or from the Bible or some other part of History. I've said before and I'll say again, it's not just about the clothes or the baseball glove or the bicycle or the lesson. It's about the people who are in the story behind all those hand me downs. It's about the lessons we look back on that formed us into the adults we are today. It's about relationships and it's about love. I'll try to stay on track this year and continue to pass on the lessons I receive from the daily Readings and the lives of the Saints and my own past. And, I'd love for others to share anything they have learned as I meant for this to be more interactive. I constantly learn from others and I believe that is one of the reasons God gave us to one another. We write our own stories and we pass them on for all they are worth. We are all chapters in the book of life. Maybe we can even consider ourselves continuations of the book written so many years ago. I love memories and I'll try to continue to share and I hope you continue to share along with me.

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton - The Will of God

2011-01-04T05:52:00.008-06:00

The theme for today seems to be following the will of God. As we read about St. Elizabeth Ann Seton and her conversion to Catholicism and her life, we learn that what she tells her fellow sisters, “The first end I propose in our daily work is to do the will of God; secondly, to do it in the manner he wills it; and thirdly, to do it because it is his will” is how she lived her life. She wholeheartedly lived to follow the will of God.
In the first reading from John, we learn that His will is all about loving one another. God is love. We are made in His image and likeness and therefore we are love. We are to love. We are to love God and love one another. Sometimes I think John seems he has to beat us over the head with so much love. I get it. God loves me unconditionally and I in turn am to love others in that same way. However, we see the theme for today and we must add, not just know He loves us and know we should love others but do His will and actually love.
Mark's Gospel teaches us that we can follow Jesus around all we want but His will for us today is to feed one another. He did not want his disciples just to send the people out to find something to eat and hope they came back for more teachings. He had a captive audience. He knew it was His chance to turn their hearts to God. His will is for us to feed the ones in our midst at the time they are with us. As parents, we are not to put it off for a more convenient time. As a community, we are not to wait for perfect timing or a holiday hour or a disaster. As people in the workplace, we are not to wait for just the right time or when no one else is around.

The will of God is to act. The will of God is to love. As Elizabeth Ann Seton says, the will of God is our daily work, as He wills it because it is His will. In our ordinary day, in our ordinary way, listen to what He wills and do it. Just do it.

One of My Mother's Favorites

2011-01-02T06:06:00.003-06:00

The last stanza of this poem is one of my mother's favorite verses. I've never read the entire poem until just now when I was looking for the name of the author to give the credit for this post. It is even more beautiful in it's entirety.

In the Bleak Midwinter - Christina Rosetti 1872.

In the bleak mid-winter
Frosty wind made moan,
Earth stood hard as iron,
Water like a stone;
Snow had fallen, snow on snow,
Snow on snow,
In the bleak mid-winter
Long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him
Nor earth sustain;
Heaven and earth shall flee away
When He comes to reign:
In the bleak mid-winter
A stable-place sufficed
The Lord God Almighty,
Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim
Worship night and day,
A breast full of milk
And a manger full of hay;
Enough for Him, whom angels
Fall down before,
The ox and ass and camel
Which adore.

Angels and archangels
May have gathered there,
Cherubim and seraphim
Thronged the air,
But only His mother
In her maiden bliss,
Worshiped the Beloved
With a kiss.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him,
Give my heart.

Today's Blessing

2011-01-01T11:22:00.004-06:00

From the Lord to Moses to Aaron and his sons to bless the Israelites and on to us today:

The LORD bless you and keep you!
The LORD let his face shine upon
you, and be gracious to you!
The LORD look upon you kindly and
give you peace!

Happy New Year!

St. John the Apostle

2010-12-27T05:38:00.003-06:00

Many events in my life I have not wanted to participate in but, prompted by an older sibling, have done and have never regretted. (I'm not saying everything.) Can't you just see these boys, James and John, in the boat with their dad, just having a typical day fishing and this guy Jesus comes along and says "Follow me" and they immediately leave their dad and go? I can hear James saying, "Dad, I'm gonna go. I feel in my gut it's the right thing to do." Maybe his dad says, "Well, take your younger brother" or maybe "I know son. I feel it's right too" and John just jumps on the band wagon, not wanting to miss anything. Or James saying, "Come on John. Let's go. He's calling us." Maybe John wanted to stay with his dad. Maybe John was a little tentative. But from the story we get that they both just jumped out and followed Jesus.
In his homily, our priest the other day mentioned what a great study it is to fill in the blanks of what we know and don't know of Jesus' life. We are told of his birth, of age 12 and age 30 to 33. I find it a wonderful study to think further along all of the stories we hear in the Gospels. Of course, I love to embellish a story but there must be so much more. These guys were just regular people yet they gave up everything and followed Jesus and preached the Gospel. They asked ridiculous questions and these two had a mom who asked for her sons to be seated high in the Kingdom. They didn't understand a lot of what was going on and yet they stuck with Jesus. John was even put in charge of watching over Mary after Jesus' death. (Or was it Mary watching over John?)
Through all we read, what we get from St. John is a dedication to Jesus and a Gospel of love. Two things this world could definitely use today.

The Greatest Acceptance Speech

2010-12-20T06:20:00.003-06:00

I have sat through many acceptance speeches in my day but none so simple and to the point as this young girl's today. And I quote: Mary said,

“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”

And the whole world waited.

What's In a Name

2010-12-18T06:08:00.004-06:00

"She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus"

The Lord appears to Joseph in our Gospel reading today and tells him to take Mary as his wife and she will bore a Son and they shall name Him Jesus. Instruction given and followed.
I have heard others throughout my life tell of receiving a name for their children in a dream. I personally never had that wonderful occurrence. I think that would be neat to feel like God had spoken to me in a dream and told me to name my child such and such. But alas, I sat after each birth with a Lives of the Saints book in hand and after seeing our child, my husband and I would decide on a name. Our first, Catherine Elizabeth was named after 2 awesome Saints, Catherine of Siena and Elizabeth of Hungary. Sarah is my husband's grandmother's name and Christine was the name of the sister who taught me in first grade who became Mother Superior of her congregation. William Harlen is named with the first names of his grandfathers. Poor little Margaret Anne started as Monica until we told my father-in-law her name and he asked if we named her after Monica Lewinski (same year of Clinton scandal). We couldn't get off the phone fast enough and call records in the hospital and have the process stopped. Oh heavens, how humans can kill a name! St. Margaret Mary and St. Anne both awesome, strong women, are perfect for this daughter to emulate. Nicholas Allen seems pretty obvious named after St. Nicholas and my husband but we played with this for quite some time because one of our regular street people use to call Allen Nicholas all the time and we wondered if that would bother us throughout this child's life. St. Nicholas overpowers Paul the street guy. The name has been a perfect fit. And last but not least, we have Julia Marie named straight after her mother. My thought was that when I have a child in my 42nd year, I can name her whatever I think I can remember in my old age. And, she reminds me often that I'm much older than the mom's of all the other kids in her class. Payback for this one could be grueling but my father laughs with every Julia story and says, "What goes around comes around. You certainly deserve this one." Hey! I must say, we might as well of received each of their names in a dream, because so far they have fit each one perfectly.
Soon and very soon, there will be another birth and His Name, announced today, is Jesus. His Name given from above is above all other names and it fits Him perfectly.

Any child naming stories to share?

Work as Prayer

2010-12-16T05:58:00.004-06:00

Late yesterday I had a visitor at the bookstore who I had not sat and talked to probably since we were about 10 years old. A neighborhood friend, he stood and introduced himself to my husband and then blurted, "You know your wife and I should really be in jail. As kids, we hid in the ditch and threw rocks at cars." Of course my husband just shook his head. I had completely erased that from my memory. I guess the ridiculous things we really do not want our children or anyone else to know just seem to hide way back in nowhere land. We talked for an hour and a half, I believe. What a joy! He was telling me about interviews he had done for the Nashville Cursillo newsletter and I shared thoughts about prayer and family and work and my writing. He was genuinely interested in my spiritual life and a couple of times caught me off guard with an "Explain!" or a "Finish that thought!" or a simple "Tell!". He had much more energy than I did at 4:30 in the afternoon after running up and down the stairs at the bookstore for 7 hours. I did explain that my mind was much clearer at 5am than 5pm. However, one comment he did drag out of me that was worth sharing was about my "prayer form". When I mentioned my morning routine, my writing, my meditations, he jumped, "Is that your prayer form?" And suddenly the words spilled out, "Well, even my work here is a form of prayer for me. People come to the store, especially during this season and during these difficult economic times, not just to shop, but to share their story, their journey. I feel that the time I take with each person, the choices they may or may not make, the stories, are all part of my journey too. They are gift. They are my form of prayer." It has made me think this morning about the encounters I have with others in their workplace. Maybe I would be a little more respectful of their jobs and the work they do for me if I found them in the midst of a form of prayer in their work.
As we journey through this Advent Season and encounter others in their workplace, may we all share a little of our own gift. Maybe the gift of a smile or some laughter or a story or just a kind word could be shared as we work together in prayer. I know I was given a little of that yesterday afternoon, okay a lot of laughter, and I am grateful. May we be blessed in our chance meetings and may we in turn be a blessing.

St. Lucy - And the Eyes Have It

2010-12-13T05:53:00.005-06:00

Because she is the patron Saint for eyes and eye trauma, this poor young martyr has been begged for intercession a couple of times in my family. My two oldest girls have both suffered eye trauma. First, the oldest was playing in a puddle of water near an old basketball goal (metal pole) and rubbed her eye and somehow stuck a rusty sliver of metal in her eye. A trip to the eye doctor and prayers to St. Lucy helped that time and again when she was practicing softball and running her hand along the fence in the dugout flicked a piece of metal in her eye. This was much tougher because she kept rubbing her eye and pushed the metal in somewhat deep. My husband brought her down to the store and I called Dr. Ducklo on a Saturday. He suggested we have her blink multiple times with her eye in a bowl of water. My mom happened to have a huge jug of Lourdes water at the store so I added some of that to the bowl and she blinked and blinked with no luck. We met doc at his office. He worked for an hour with a frightened young girl and her mom. It was difficult to help her keep her eye open. Many, many instruments were tried and finally after many prayers and some begging, Dr. Ducklo tried a mini drill with a tiny brush on the end. He held it in her eye for what seemed forever and the sliver flicked out the same way it flicked in. We were all exhausted by the end and all I could do was thank God, His Mother, and all the Saints and angels I called upon during the process.
Now let's not stop there. My second oldest daughter got hit in the eye with a clump of ice at that same softball field. I believe it was an accident and of course I had to be out of town but with multiple drops and visits back and forth to Dr. Ducklo and again many prayers to St. Lucy, she has full sight in that eye. She had to lay on her back as still as she could for a couple of days. Me being out of town made it awful for everyone. I wanted to see to believe, a little girl wanted her mom and a husband could have used some help. But again, after several days and many prayers I was able to thank God for His goodness and mercy to our family.
Dr. Ducklo suggests goggles for each of our children. At the time, we didn't think it was such a bad idea.
On this Feast of St. Lucy may all who struggle with their sight or any type of eye trauma be blessed in a special way. I am grateful for the belief in the intercession of Saints and today I am grateful for St. Lucy, patron of eyes.

Our Lady of Guadalupe

2010-12-12T05:50:00.003-06:00

On the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe may we continually believe in miracles. May we persist in our Faith regardless of the pressures of the world in which we live. May we follow the path that leads to Jesus. May we pray to Our Lady to intercede for us. She is our Mother. She loves us to the point of coming to us with messages time and time again. She desperately wants us to pray and to fast and to ask pardon for our sins so that the world may have peace. Roses in December! Her image. Her constant beckoning. Today as we await the Birth of Jesus, may we wait in joyful hope. May we listen to our Mother and go time and time again and speak truth. May we hold our Faith close to our hearts, enfolded in our garments, so that when we open to one another, we are showered with truth and we come to believe. May Our Lady hold us in her mantle and fill us with her love as we wait for the Lord.

St. Juan Diego

2010-12-09T06:46:00.003-06:00

On the Feast of St. Juan Diego we are reminded that we are all called to carry the Good News. We are all called to respond to the simple wishes of Our Lady. We are asked time and time again to pray the Rosary for peace, to fast, to go to confession. Our Lady pursues us just as she did Juan Diego. Juan Diego showed great humility and persistence in his response to Mary and in his dealings with the Bishop. He is a wonderful example to us of continuing our beliefs through all sorts of adversity. He worried about many things but followed Our Lady's requests and she in turn took care of all his concerns.
Today may we, like Juan Diego, be persistent in our faith, be humble in our requests, simple in our lives and faithful to our God and His Blessed Mother.