Last week as I was headed into the Chapel, the automatic door was closing and I turned slightly sideways and squeezed in, not having to push the door back open. I immediately thought, that is so me, just barely squeezing by in my spiritual life.
Mass was about to start and I didn't have time to read my Magnificat so I squeezed in the morning reading and the meditation on the Gospel during the short pauses of the Mass and some of the parts of the Homily. (Don't tell Fr.)
I've been thinking about my lack of organization lately, at home and at work. I blame it all on being out of town for a week and having a difficult time catching up but truth is it's more about goofin' off. Not that there's anything wrong with a little goofy around but let's face it, it can cause us to get behind and stay behind and we don't want to be continually late with God. Um, I can picture the Gates just closing as I sprint to squeeze into my Eternal Reward, or not. And why? Because I didn't take His Words seriously? Because I was goofin' off instead of working? Because I didn't take time to listen?
I'm pretty sure that I'm barely squeezing by because I'm doing more talking than listening. That's how it was the other day. I was outside the Chapel talking to a friend and her children before school, ya know, entertaining them with my mouth, and I missed my time for spiritual reading. Missed it. So often, I kneel down in there and start all my yammerin and I hear Him say clearly, "Shhhhh! Listen! I have the words of Everlasting Life." How more direct can that be?
For the most part, my dad gets to the Chapel for morning prayer about two hours before Mass. He's passed that example on to us just as he and my mom have of going to daily Mass. They both give time to Jesus in the morning and in return He gives them time to get all that needs done in a day, done. Now why in the world am I still just squeezing by? Fifty some years of hand me downs and I am still goofin' off. Lord, help me to do more than just squeeze by in this life. Teach me to close my mouth and open my heart and get where You want me to be.