Thursday, February 18, 2010

Crosses

"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."
I have one cross right this minute that's just weighing me down. Has been for months. Actually, I can feel the splinters from the wood so to speak. I'm losing sleep over it and sitting here this morning in this very spot I understand that it weighs heavy on me because I think that I can handle it. Today for the first time I read each of Jesus' desires for me. Not just to take up my cross daily and not just to follow Him but to deny myself. These crosses that we have in our lives are not about how much we can handle. These crosses often come to see how much we trust. Jesus tells me today that I have to deny the fact that I can bear the weight alone. I am not Him and I am not expected to work miracles. Today I deny myself. I cannot do this alone. Now if I can just really let go and believe, I could sleep and I could again enjoy the spaces this cross encompasses. Jesus I trust in You.

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