“Because of your little faith. Amen, I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
The readings today hit me right in the face with my lack of trust in God and my lack of example to my little ones around me. This past week especially I have been unable to write and barely able to concentrate on anything except getting my children back to school. My son started high school this week and my anxiety level was over the top. My two older girls and myself went to an all girls high school and had 50 and 60 girls in each class. My son is in a co-ed high school with 270 in just his class, more than in our entire school. It's nerve racking and yet as I sat in the parent's night Monday I felt a huge sense of community. My dad and my brothers and my uncles went to this high school. I knew many of the teachers and the principal and the president because of St. Marys Bookstore or from high school or through my brothers. I should be one of the calmest parents in the school and yet, each day I wonder and I worry. If I truly just had faith the size of that tiny little mustard seed! How hard could this be? I have worked the beads on my rosary every day and stormed more Saints in heaven for help this week than maybe ever before and I should know, He's right here with me. I've talked to Mary about her understanding of sending a son out into a crowd and I should know, she's right here with me. I send the three little ones to grade school and take one to college this week as the boy goes full days to high school and all I'm asked to bank on is faith the size of a mustard seed! I'd like six please but if You say one's enough, I'll try to trust in my fair share. This week maybe I could be a tiny example of His love and His trust, but this world sure tests my faith.